Thursday, December 8, 2011

God Made Us All!

So, this post totally isn't directly associated with relationships or love, BUT it's something that's been on my mind. I have a question for everyone, a question I think we should all think about; why is it that we treat people who are, ahem, less attractive as if it's their fault? You know what I mean. We turn up our noses at people who don't fit into our idea of what attractive is, we talk down to people we deem ugly, we make them feel horrible about themselves as if they created themselves, not to mention people we deem fat. But why? Why are we so focused on appearances that we'll alienate someone who isn't what we'd consider attractive? And on a whole other level of bashing people who aren't attractive is comparing siblings based on not only their musical or acting abilities, but yes, their looks. We see it in the media everyday. All of the Kardashian sisters are compared to one another, Solange is compared to Beyonce, Ashlee Simpson is compared to Jessica Simpson, Prince Harry is compared to Prince William and so on and so forth. No one can control which features they take from their parents and which ones they don't and weren't we all taught as kids that it's what's on the inside that really counts?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Let Them Know You Appreciate Them

So, talking with my sis yesterday led me to write this post. Your partner needs to know that you appreciate them, that you still find them attractive, especially after you've been together for a few years. It isn't enough to tell friends and/or family how much you appreciate your mate, how beautiful/handsome he/she is if you aren't letting them know how you feel. It's so much better to hear things "from the horse's mouth". I'm not saying that you have to tell your mate he/she is beautiful/handsome each and everyday or that you have to do extravagant things for them to show them you care every weekend, but I am saying that every now and then it's good to tell them how much you appreciate the things they do for you and compliment an outfit or change in hairstyles they may not think you've noticed. Think about this, it's the little things that make relationships worth having, something as small as saying "do you know how much I love you" can put a smile on your partner's face and remind them that you feel lucky to have them. They say women love attention, and I can agree that for the most part, we do, so in a lot of cases, if we're not getting the attention we're seeking at home, we'll go out and look for it elsewhere and the same can be said for men. Keep these things in mind and you'll have a happier, healthier relationship.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

There's No I In Team But There Is A Me

I don't know why I don't learn from trying to post from my phone, but anyways... Some people don't know how to go from "it's all about me" to "it's us against the world" when they enter a relationship, which of course causes issues. People get so caught up in trying to do what's best for them and not considering other people's feelings that it is hard to transition to someone who actually gives a care when they meet someone new. And in other cases, they really don't care. There are people out there who only want to get into a relationship if it is going to benefit them and make their lives better in some way. I brought this topic up to tell you to beware. Beware so that if you meet someone who has intentions on taking, taking, taking and never giving anything back, you won't be taken on a ride. Beware so that you aren't fooled by someone who only wants to look out for themselves. I'd also say beware so that you, yourself, don't become one of those people because it's definitely hard to trust anyone but yourself these days, but you must remember life is all about taking chances. Don't get so caught up in trying to look out for yourself to make sure you don't get hurt that you miss out on someone who really only had your best interest at heart. A relationship involves two people and if one party is reaping all the benefits, is the only one whose feelings are considered, the other person really isn't needed.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I'm a firm believer in honesty is the best policy, but for a lot of people that only applies if you ask the right questions. So, if you're entering a new relationship and you guys are trying to get to know each other, should you automatically volunteer information about yourself that might not necessarily show you in the best light? The way I see it, people should have a choice in what they're getting into, they should be able to make an informed decision. What are your thoughts on this?

Thursday, December 1, 2011

We Come In All Shapes And Sizes

While having a conversation with my boyfriend, he brought up an interesting point, men will accept you just as you are, as long as you're confident in yourself. It is moreso women than men who call women fat if they are bigger than a size two. If you look at it, most men, especially those in this community, like women "with a little meat on their bones". The women you see on television and magazines are typically not good representations of women in the real world, women that you see walking down the street each and everyday. A lot of those women are staving themselves and practicing all types of potentially fatal behaviors in order to be thin, in order to be what "society" says is beautiful. You don't have to be a size two in order to be sexy, you don't have to weigh one hundred and ten pounds in order to look glamorous. As long as you are a healthy weight and you're happy with yourself, that's all that matters. Women are beautiful and sexy in all shapes, sizes, colors, races, etc. We need to uplift each other and praise each other's accomplishments. Don't starve yourself to be thin. Don't practice terrible behaviors or take dangerous drugs in order to be accepted. Love who you are and be YOUR ideal you. If God wanted us to all look the same, He would've made us that way.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Way A Man Treats His Mom...

Let me first apologize for taking so long to edit this post and also for taking so long to create a new post... Been a lot going on, but anyway, back to business... I've always been told that you can tell how a man will treat you by the way he treats his wife and I've come to believe that for the most part, that's true. From what I've seen, if a man has a good relationship with his mom, he'll be good to you and the same is true, in most cases, for a man who doesn't have a good relationship with his mom. A man has to learn how to treat women from his interactions with his mom or his grandmom or whoever his female guardian is. I've said it before and I'll say it again, people don't realize how important it is that a child has both parents in their lives, how much it impacts their lives. It is important that a man develops a loving, healthy relationship with his mom in order to build loving, healthy relationships with women in the future. When a man is taught to treat his mom with respect and to appreciate her and all that she does for him, he'll carry that with him into his adult life and relationships. Be mindful of that when you begin a relationship with a new guy, pay attention to how he his mom as well as the way he interacts with other women he comes in contact with. This is some of the best advice my mother has ever given me and I hope you take heed to it.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

What's A Step Parent's Role?

As if building a relationship or marriage isn't hard enough, add the fact that you're entering a "ready made" family to the mix and the difficulty is magnified. It's hard to figure out your position in this situation. Should you participate in disciplining the child(ren)? How are you to know what's crossing the line and what isn't? What exactly is your "place"? I'm certain that these and plenty of other questions are asked when you're put in a position of becoming the parent of a child who isn't biologically yours. In order to get things to run smoothly I say once again communication is key. Talk with your partner and also the biological parent of the child(ren) if the option is there and try to come to some type of agreement on where your place is, what is appropriate and what isn't, express your concerns to them. Every situation is different and I know that sometimes it is not only the new responsibility of being a step parent and significant other that is overwhelming, but  the rude/childish behavior of the child's other biological parent is also a huge issue. As for that, all I can say is try to find some common ground if that is at all possible because after all you all need to get along and come to some type of agreement for the sake of the child(ren). Keep in mind that the child or children are the most important thing in this situation and you have to decide if you're willing to do what it takes to make things as stable as possible for them. Think long and hard before making a decision, if your decision is to try to stick it out, try to keep communication open and remember that these things take time.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Does Falling In Love Really Take Time?

Some people fall in love after years of dating, some say it takes years of being with someone in order to know whether or not you love them. Others say they knew immediately or at least after a few days or weeks that they were in love. Can love truly be real after such a short amount of time? Do you have to be with someone several years before knowing they're "the one"? I personally think that even if you don't want to admit that you love a person after a short time, you know early on whether or not you can see yourself with that person and if it takes you years to know you truly love a person that may not be such a good sign. To each his own.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

God Is Good

I'm gonna keep this one short, sweet, and to the point. No matter what it is that you're going through, things could always be worse. You have to remember that you're blessed just to be alive. So many things in your life could've gone another way, but God saw fit that things worked out for the better. Know that God is good all the time and all the time God is good. He'll never put more on you than you can bear and He's always with you. You're too blessed to be stressed.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Is An Ultimatum The Answer?

This, too, is an age old question, should you give him an ultimatum... Let's say you've been in a relationship for four years. You've lived together, you've had a child or children,  and everybody around you is beginning to ask you "when's the wedding?". How are you to deal with this? I mean, you've told him on several occasions that you want to marry you and he's told you that you'd make a good wife ONE DAY, but you're wondering when that day will come. Should you tell him it's either a ring or the door or should you just wait it out and let him make that move on his own? It's a tough call to make as every situation is different and where giving an ultimatum may work in some cases, it may turn out badly in others. For this delicate situation, I'd say take time out to think about whether or not you can handle things taking a turn for the worse in the case that you give an ultimatum and can imagine your life without him. You must look at what the outcome could be. I know that on one hand you may want to give an ultimatum because you're not getting any younger and after all, you've been together for years, but have you thought about how you'd feel if he decided to marry you only AFTER your giving him that ultimatum? True enough that may be just the push he needed and he could be grateful to you for making him realize that, but on the flip side, he may marry you and resent you for "making" him do it. All I'm saying is think long and hard before giving him that ultimatum, you never know how things may turn out. It may be everything you wanted and more, but it could also be the worst thing ever.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Could Good Sex Be A Replacement For Love?

You know I know that a lot of people have been accused of confusing good sex with love and in some weird twisted kind of way, I kind of understand. I mean, good sex is GOOD! LOL But love is so much more, so much better. Which is why I can't understand how some people could say all they need is good sex to make it. People who say forget love, all I want is sex.  In my mind, love conquers all things and lasts forever while sex is only good for so long. And also, in my opinion, sex is better when you truly love the person. Now, I can admit that being in a relationship with someone takes time and effort and it can really be frustrating at times, but how long can you have only a sexual relationship with someone before feelings get involved? And how many people can you "hit and quit" before it comes back to haunt you? Now, I do understand and believe that most of the people who believe or claim to believe that good sex is a good substitute for love have been seriously hurt by someone that they actually did love in the past or have come from a home where love was not present or one sided and that caused them to be this way, I get that. However, just going out and finding "buddies" or having several one night stands can cause you more hurt and harm than simply having faith that love will find its way to you. Sex is definitely not going to satisfy you for life, after all, we're all human and humans desire to be loved.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Obsessive Lovers

Have you ever met someone who seemed just a bit too concerned with their partner's life? Or maybe someone who was a bit too clingy? How about dating someone who wanted to know your every move and called you numerous times throughout the day and often multiple times within an hour? People like this should certainly NOT be in relationships and they most definitely should NOT procreate until their issues are resolved. These people are most often insecure and think that by controlling or holding on tight to someone else they can be validated. In a lot of cases where a person is obsessive, there is also emotional and physical abuse and you must be careful in plotting your escape from this person if it is your decision to leave... I always try to see the good in people and believe that everyone can change for the better if they make a conscious effort to do so, it is up to you though, to decide if you want to stick around while they try to make that change for the better. All I'm saying is obsessive lovers are not really lovers at all as what Oprah said on her show Oprah's Lifeclass that she's repeated multiple times over the years and that is "love does not hurt". Love is not jealous or distrusting either. If you're in a relationship with an obsessive person, please seek help immediately because if that person isn't helped soon the results could be deadly.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Should You Tell Your Friend?

Let's say you're out with a few co-workers or acquaintances at the movies or out to eat and you spot your best friend's significant other with someone else. Or what if your car has put you down and you desperately need a ride home, your friend sends his/her S.O. to pick you up and they hit on you. In either of those situations should you tell your friend or let them find out on their own? Is it ever okay to tell your friend that you suspect their significant other of cheating on them? How do you know? I personally have been in this situation before and my advice would be to stay out of the situation. Unfortunately, in most cases, although the person SAYS they want you to be honest with them, the truth hurts and the situation can quickly turn into something you definitely didn't want it to turn into. Your friend may blame you for what happened if their significant other hit on you or get upset and think you're lying to break up their relationship if you tell them you've seen their S.O. with someone else. Now, there are ALWAYS exceptions to every rule and although things didn't go the way I felt they should have in my situation with my friend doesn't mean that would happen in your situation, but if you're ever out in that situation I'd certainly say tread lightly. It's a tough situation to be in and you never know how people will react. What are your thoughts on this?

Monday, November 7, 2011

Choose Your Battles Wisely

Alright, so we all know that no two people are going to get along on everything, all the time meaning there will inevitably be arguments or disagreements. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion and there's nothing wrong with sharing it. It's also good to share things that you love about your partner and still share things that you aren't so in love with. I always say communication is key and I stand by that, however, when something not so good is said to you, when something you disagree with is said, when the response to what you said isn't what you wanted STOP and think about how important whatever it is that you're discussing is before you just blow up at your partner. Is this something even worth starting an argument about? Are you offended by what your partner said? If so, tell him/her... In a way that's not so defensive. You have to figure out what things are trivial enough to just let go and which things are big issues that definitely need to be discussed further. All I'm trying to say is, if you have someone in your life that you love, someone who treats you the way you want and need to be treated, someone who is your everything don't mess if up by turning every little thing into an argument. Listen without being in defense mode all the time. Know the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Taking A Leap Of Faith

In these past few weeks I've come to learn that taking a leap of faith is just that. It might sound impeccably simple, but when you're in that situation, times come where your faith is tested beyond measure. Things that seem as if they will surely go your way go completely wrong, people you thought you could trust turn their backs on you, and even though in the beginning of the test you had faith that everything would work out and you'd come out on top in the end, you start to lose faith in not only yourself, but God. In these times though, you should draw closer to God as it is in these times that He truly works. These are the times that make us stronger and help us to build better relationships with God. God wants us to trust and have faith in Him and we have no reason not to. I said all that to say if you're thinking about taking a leap of faith and doing whatever it is you feel God is telling you to do, you have to be ready for your faith to be tested. You have to be ready to fully rely on God and believe that He will provide. He will make a way out of no way because if this truly is what He had planned for your life, He won't let you fail, you just have to trust and believe that.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Church Folk=Hypocrites?

Let me start off by saying that I, myself, am a Christian woman. However, I have come to realize why a lot of people are turned off of church and Christianity in general. It seems as if the people who are supposed to be the most understanding, those who are in the church and are supposed to be living by God's word are sometimes the most judgmental and two-faced. A lot of "Christian" people are real quick to judge when whatever it is that is going on isn't going on with them. It is as if once they get "saved" they forget that they weren't always that way. This is definitely NOT the way it should be. The Bible tells us that God is the ONLY one who can judge us and we have ALL sinned whether it be telling a white lie so as to not hurt some one's feelings or you've murdered someone. No sin is greater than another and for Christian people to treat others as if they are beneath us is a disgrace to God. God asks us to love our neighbors, not tear them down simply because they are where we used to be or because their sins SEEM bigger than our sins. We've all done things that we're not proud of and we're all supposed to be striving to  be better which means we're supposed to strive each day to be more like Christ. Christ was a loving man, so loving that He died for our sins. He who did nothing to others was tormented then crucified. Christians are human just like everyone else which means we've all made mistakes. We need to learn to keep that in mind and realize that we should love the next person as Christ loved us. We could all stand to learn a few new things, we need to read our Bibles more and actually follow through with living out what the word tells us.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

How Long Should You Wait Before Moving On?

Typically men and women have different views on this subject as it sometimes seems men have a shorter recovery span than do women. After a break-up, especially one that resulted after a long-term relationship, women appear slower to move on than men... depending on the type of guys they are anyway. I've seen cases where not even a month later the guy already has another girl on his arm and the ex-girlfriend is outraged thinking he should have at least waited that entire month and I'm sure there are cases where the shoe is on the other foot, although, I myself don't know of any such cases, I'm certain it happens though. So, my question here is this; is there or should there be a certain amount of time waited before moving on to the next romantic encounter? My opinion is yes, especially if it was once again a long term relationship. You need time to heal and don't want to carry extra baggage into another relationship, although I guess that too is debatable depending on whether the next relationship is serious or just a fling to get you over that hump. I'd still suggest giving yourself at least a little time to be alone, at least a month and up to maybe six, before hopping in bed with someone else whether it's serious or not though as feelings can get hurt and mixed emotions may be felt and a whole bunch of confusion can be created from your instantaneous bed hopping. What is your take on this? Is there a certain amount of time you should wait before moving on? If you'd say yes, how long do you think you should wait?

Friday, October 28, 2011

Once A Cheater Always A Cheater?

We all know someone who is a cheater and/or someone who has been cheated on. It's pretty much expected that people will cheat whether male or female, but can a person who has cheated in the past change? And can you ever really trust someone after they've cheated on you? There are plenty of stories of relationships and marriages that have "survived" infidelity and I'm more likely to believe them than not and I'll tell you why. People change for the better each and every day. People have gone from criminals to law enforcement officers AND are staying on the right side of the track. People have gone from drug addicts and dealers to preachers and perfectly clean Christian people of the church so I totally believe that people can change for the better even people who have cheated. I'm not sure exactly how relationships survive infidelity, but obviously it can be done if both parties work hard at the relationship and making progress towards being better people for each other and the kids if they have them. What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you think people who have cheated in the past can change for the better?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Is It Okay To Be Friends With An Ex?

Now I've written before and said I don't think that going back to an ex is a good idea as you all obviously broke up for a reason. But today, I have a different issue to discuss when it comes to exes, should you continue talking with them/ being friends with them once you've broken up? Okay, so here's my take on this, once you all have broken up, it's, in most cases, in the best interest of both parties involved that you go your separate ways and cut all communication. The reason I'd suggest no communication would be mostly that emotions will be confused. Not only will the emotions of the two parties involved be confused, but if one or both of you decide to move on, I'm pretty sure this will cause confusion with your new partner(s). You must remember that you have history with this person and what does it say about your relationship with them if you're unable to go on with your life without them in it? There are always exceptions to every rule, and maybe being friends with your ex works for you. Maybe you have to remain friends with your ex because you all have kids, whatever the case may be, all I'm saying is that in most cases it is best to leave your ex in the past... What are your thoughts on this?

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I Love Having Sex, But Rather Get Some...

I"m sorry. I tried to publish this post from my phone, and obviously it didn't work so I'm trying again... Okay, so, it's no secret that men are typically huge fans of oral sex, more so than most women even to the point of preferring it to sexual intercourse. So, here are my thoughts on that, now earlier on in creating this blog, I wrote a post and asked if a good bj really did go a long way and after publishing it I did get a lot of people saying to me they believe it does. Now I'm a firm believer in compromising and trying to make things work and I feel as long as your partner isn't asking you to do anything that is detrimental to him, yourself, or anyone else and it's not anything that truly makes you uncomfortable, why not? If your partner is everything you need/want in a partner, if they try to satisfy you in the bedroom, if you really care about that person, I say go for it. Do research on giving good bjs and practice makes perfect. I've read/heard that giving eye contact while going down, paying close attention to the tip of the penis, humming, and learning to use your tongue a bit more can add to the pleasure a man feels during a bj... Guys, you'll have to be more vocal and help the ladies out with this one though as we don't have a penis so we don't know exactly what feels best unless you let us know. So ladies, if you love your man/want to please him, and you know he's craving more oral pleasure, suck it up... Literally. LOL

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Does True Love Even Exist?

With all the divorces and break-ups happening around us, it can be hard to even imagine a "happily ever after", let alone finding a "true love". You hardly see couples getting married and staying together for fifty and/or sixty years, in fact, you hardly see couples getting married now at all. Suddenly people are saying "marriage isn't for everybody" and "I don't want to put myself in that type of situation". But I'm baffled by this and have NO comprehension of when or why this started. Those who follow my blog regularly know that I'm pro marriage and would definitely consider myself a hopeless romantic so I certainly want to believe that true love not only exists, but also that marriages can survive the storm. It's really not so easy to keep that type of attitude considering all the negativity surrounding marriage and love and relationships in general. I mean, have people become so wrapped up in their own lives that they aren't willing to compromise and/or open their hearts up to someone else? Where did this all begin? Will this anti marriage/love movement ever turn around? Should I even believe that true love exists? These are questions I find myself wondering as I take a look around me. I always want to look on the bright side and hope for the best, but considering the increasing divorce rates and the number of break-ups amongst peers, I'm not sure how much longer my positive attitude towards love will last.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Why Are Smart Women Dumb When It Comes To Men?

You see it all the time, a beautiful, sweet, otherwise intelligent woman makes a dumb decision and enters a relationship with a guy EVERYBODY knows she shouldn't be with, except her. The guy she's with has no job, no car, no education, and has no problem letting her take care of him. People around her, friends and family warn her about him and try to get her to see the bigger picture (he's using her and only dragging her down), but she's in denial and thinks she's in love. So then this brings to mind the saying that love is blind and also that you can't help who you love. Now, I can't speak for every woman who works to take care of herself and man, in fact, I can't speak for any of them, what I can say though is that I think there is a deeper issue there. What would make someone want to be with a person who is supposed to love them, yet they watch you work hard to support them each and everyday while they sit back and do nothing? I can get that you never know who you'll fall in love with and that love is the strongest emotion there is, but aren't you supposed to also learn to use your mind along with your heart? What's your take on this? Why are smart women so dumb when it comes to men in your opinion?

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Let The Lord Lead You

God wants us to trust and believe in Him and there's no reason we shouldn't. God is there for us when no one else is. He's a mother to the motherless and a father to the fatherless. All you need to do is have faith in Him and He'll make everything alright. Life is hard alone, God has offered to be our guide if we'll only let Him. You aren't always going to know what path to take or what something's purpose in your life is, but if you'll pray and have faith in God you'll never be lead astray.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

A REAL Man

Okay, I felt compelled to write a post on what a REAL man is and isn't due to the number of drama filled Facebook status updates about what this "stupid hoe" or "dumb trick" is doing or saying. First and foremost, if YOU are the one telling her that he is your man, he really isn't yours to begin with. When a man finds and gets what he really wants in a woman, he will let the world know, he won't leave any doubt in your mind that you are his one and only and he'll never give another girl the impression that you aren't. A REAL man is faithful, you won't have to argue with other girls over who the "real" Mrs. such and such is. A REAL man will treat you like the queen that you are and he'll respect AND your family and whatever it is you feel is important to you. A REAL man will NOT curse you out at the drop of a hat, cheat on you repeatedly and act as if you're in the wrong for being upset, he won't lie to you constantly, he won't get you pregnant, deny the baby, then leave you to take care of it alone, he isn't jobless, homeless, car less, and education deprived and not trying to do anything about it. I said all of that to say this, if you have to put up a Facebook status cursing a different girl out about "your" man each and every day, you need to let that go. And if he can't take care of himself, why would you think he'd be any good for you. A REAL man takes care of himself, and if he isn't already where he wants to be, you can be damn sure he's doing everything in his power to get there.

Friday, October 21, 2011

It's Cheaper To Keep Her

When I heard people use the expression "it's cheaper to keep her" as a young girl, I never understood what it meant. Now that I'm older, I can completely get and understand what they mean. There are situations where the couple has serious doubts about getting married or they haven't really considered what married life will bring, yet they still go through with getting married because they've already sent out the invitations and the venues have been booked. Here's the thing people don't understand though, it costs much less to cancel the things you've put together for the wedding than it does to come up with all the expenses needed in order to get a divorce, especially in this economy. Also when you're married, you're in one household, you can split the costs on things, you can share things which means if you're both working and bringing home nice checks, you'll each have more money to spend on things only you want to do. Now, let me say that I am in NO way suggesting that you stay in a marriage where you are miserable, where there is abuse, cheating, addiction, etc, but what I AM saying is you should SERIOUSLY think about what you're getting yourself into before you get married. Marriage is a VERY serious commitment, one that shouldn't be taken lightly, so please, please be sure it's what you want to do before you do if because marrying the wrong person can be a far worse consequence than not getting married at all.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Are Women Really Obsessed With Nudity?

A little while ago, I read an article that suggested that women were obsessed with being nude as we were the skimpiest outfits out in public and even wear the skimpiest articles of clothing to bed in most cases. Now I can really agree with most of what was said in the article as I can admit I'm guilty of coming home from work or just a long day of running errands and stripping away clothing as soon as I set foot in my bedroom. I don't think that implies I'm obsessed with nudity though. I don't go shopping for the smallest amount of clothing I can find so that I'm covered just enough not to be arrested, but revealing enough that I could be mistaken for a prostitute, but then again that's just me and the article was speaking in regards of women in general. It could be said that women wear revealing clothes so often because they believe it's what men like or they're craving attention, who's to say? In my opinion though, women aren't really obsessed with being in the nude, they just like to be comfortable. Do I agree that women should follow "if you got it, flaunt it"? Not at all, I always think it's good to leave SOMETHING to the imagination, but I hardly think wearing a revealing shirt, skirt, or outfit in general from time to time implies an obsession with nudity. What do you think? Are women obsessed with nudity?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Should You Stay Because Of The Kids?

I know a lot of people feel that couples should definitely stay together if they have children as a child needs both his/her mother and father. I know that sometimes the couple will endure turmoil and stress just because they want their kids to have two parents in the household. The issue with that though is that it can be just as damaging to have two parents in the household who are always stressed out and unhappy as it is to have only a mom or dad. Kids need to have parents in their lives who are stable and reliable, parents who are able to set good examples for them whether they are in a relationship or not. Children need stability and granted it's harder to maintain that type of environment if the parents are in separate households, if both parents are willing to work together for the good of the children then they'll be able to figure things out and make it work for them. You should never stay where you're abused, put down, and/or used simply because you don't want to tamper with the traditional family structure, it is better for your kids to see you happy and living a full life than to be existing because the life you're living is full of pain.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Don't Air Your Dirty Laundry

Communication is key within any relationship, but that means most of what you say should be kept between you two. Your business should stay your business especially when you all have arguments and definitely when it comes to your sex life. No one wants to be remembered for the mistakes they've made which would be exactly what'd happen if you told friends and family what he/she did to upset you. For whatever reason we're prone to remembering the negative things we're told about someone else's S.O. although we will forgive our own. Ultimately all I'm saying is learn to keep your mouth shut and you'll have a happier mate and relationship.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Should A Guy Ask Her Family's Permission?

A lot of traditions have come and gone, but with the recent buzz about Kim K's marriage and the details about both the wedding and proposal, one question has been asked of followers of the story; should a man ask his girlfriend's family (mainly her dad or mom if dad is not in the picture) for her hand in marriage? Would you want your boyfriend to ask your family? I happen to think that this tradition is a nice one to continue. I think if you're a close knit family and your significant other asks your family for your hand in marriage, that would really bridge the gap. It shows how much he cares and how much respect he has for you and your relationship with your family. His including your family in such an important moment also leads your family to be more open to accepting him into your family's circle. On the flip side, it may be something you want to be between just the two of you. Perhaps you're close with your family, but want your engagement to be something you can share with them at a later date and if you're not that close with your family, this might not be such a good idea. It could also be a very embarrassing or uncomfortable situation if the guy asks for your hand in marriage and is told no... Hopefully that wouldn't be the case though, but what do you think? Should he ask or should this tradition be dropped?

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Abuse Is Never Okay

It surprised me a lot to read an article some time ago that stated that domestic violence was highest amongst Black couples mostly because I always hear us, meaning Black women, saying things like "Oh, he wouldn't do that to a Black woman" or "They know better than to hit a Black woman". I was brought up around people who believed, or at least pretended to believe, that domestic violence was pretty much non existent in the Black community, but movies like What's Love Got To Do With It suggest otherwise. So, today I not only want to acknowledge that abuse does in fact happen in the Black community, I'd like to take a few moments to share my thoughts on it. Now, I know that all couples argue, no two people are going to agree 24/7, 365 days a year, but to get to the point where it gets physical??? No, that's definitely not the way it's supposed to go. Love does NOT hurt,someone who loves you would NOT bust your lip or black your eye. Abuse could also be verbal or emotional and neither of those is okay either. You should never be with someone who makes you feel happy more often than not. Having part of a man isn't better than having no man at all, especially if the man you have is hurting you... If you're in an abusive relationship and need help getting out, PLEASE contact someone you can trust or even call an abuse hot line just please get help. And let me say one more time to each and everyone of you reading this post ABUSE IS NEVER OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Faking "It"; Foul Or Play?

I'm not sure that we're all guilty of it, but I do know a few people who have admitted to faking "the big O" for fear of hurting their partners feelings, to "just get it over with", because they can't seem to achieve a real one, etc. Is faking an orgasm really a bad thing though? Does it mean the person who fakes it can't be trusted? I mean, I guess you could say if you'd lie about that you'd lie about something else... I don't know if I'd go so far as to say that, but anything is possible. Here's the thing though, if you're pretending to have an orgasm to please your partner or because you're unable to achieve a real one, you're only hurting yourself. I mean, don't you deserve to enjoy yourself, too? And like I always say, communication is key. If your partner thinks you're having an orgasm whenever you have sex, they don't know that anything is wrong which means that you're left unsatisfied and probably frustrated. I know that if you can't achieve an orgasm, it may make you feel embarrassed or less than a man/woman, but if you trust your partner enough to be that vulnerable with them, I mean, being naked in front of another person is like the most vulnerable position you can be in, you should definitely be able to talk to them about what's going on with you. And if you're not having orgasms because he/she just isn't doing it for you, express that to him/her. Sex should be pleasurable for both parties involved and if you don't get to experience the climax... Yeah, that's not cool. LOL

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Threesomes; Should You Try Them?

Threesomes including two women and one man seem to be among the highest rated fantasies for men and even some women. Although, I know that some fantasize about it being a two men and one woman or it may be three people of the same sex, whatever floats your boat... It seems that more and more people are admitting to trying it as I guess it could be viewed as a happy medium between being completely monogous and cheating. But there are of course, pros and cons to having a threesome as with anything that you do. It may be fun and exciting and give you the thrill and variety that you're looking for, but it may also open the door for insecurities to creep in, the urge to continue having sex with other people, and STD's if you aren't careful. Now, I'm all for being open in the bedroom and trying new things, but threesomes, to me, are on a much different level. I mean, you're bringing another person into your bedroom with you, you definitely need to think about all aspects, good and bad, that could come from this type of agreement. If you think you can do it and have fun and things still be good with you and your significant other then by all means go for it. But if you know that you already have some insecurities about yourself and are doubting your relationship, PLEASE PLEASE don't do it. In a nutshell, what I'm saying is, a threesome can be fun and bring some excitement to your love life, spice it up a bit, but it can also put a strain on the relationship if things don't go as planned. Think long and hard before deciding whether or not to bring another person into your bedroom.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Is The Other Woman Really To Blame?

She's called a slut, a whore, a homewreaker, and I'm sure much worse, while all the man who cheats is called a cheater or dog. What's the difference? The other woman is continuously hated and ridiculed by not only the wife or girlfriend, but in lots of cases those on the outside looking in. But I want to know why we as women seem to have been conditioned to automatically hate the other woman although she obviously isn't the one who made the commitment. So why isn't the man the one who's hated and ridiculed? Who the hell "boys will be boys" would be a good way to defend men's bad behavior anyway? Now, I know that in some cases the other woman knew the guy was involved with someone else before sleeping with him, but in most cases she's in the dark just like the wife or girlfriend. So, what's your take on this? Should the other woman be blamed? Have we become so wrapped up in the "boys will be boys" craze that we just excuse the men who cheat?

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Why Are There So Few Men In Church?

This has been a topic of discussion for years, where are all the men in church??? The single women are told to go to church to find a good man, but when they get there, there aren't many men to be found. I've even heard a pastor touch on this in one of his sermons. Women definitely are more in attendance at church, but my question is why? Is there something about church that really just turns men off? Are women just more religious based? Now, let me go back and say that I'm not saying there aren't any men in church at all, because there definitely are, but there's a noticeable difference in the number of men and the number of women in the church. I mean, when did this start anyway? All I know is, there should definitely be more men in church, women need you to learn how to become better leaders so that you can be better heads of the household. Let me also say that I'm not suggesting that because you go to church that automatically means you're a "good" Christian and because you don't go to church that you aren't, but I am saying you should attend church so that you are more likely to be exposed to people who can give you the spiritual guidance you need to live a more pleasing life in the eyes of the Lord.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Heart Over Matter?

You always hear people say you should listen to or follow your heart. You always hear that you can't choose who you love, the heart wants what the heart wants. But on the flip side, you hear people say that have to be more rational because their hearts have lead them down the wrong path. Can you ever really just listen to your heart though? I mean, is it really possible to just meet someone, fall for them, and then just let go and let whatever happens happen? I'm not sure there's a real answer to that question, guess it depends on what your definition of following your heart is. For people who wear their hearts on their sleeves, I know this is especially hard because they're usually more easily hurt. And I know these are the people who often times  they become more apprehensive when it comes to dating. They might know in their heart that they really like someone, but their mind will tell them to hold back because that person might turn out to be just like all the others who hurt them in the past. But, maybe we should all learn to start from scratch. Learn to really learn to let our hearts lead us. You only have one life to live and you should definitely live it to the fullest. Life is all about taking chances and love is the greatest gift life has to offer, so the next time you meet someone you truly feel a connection with, go for it, put your heart over the matter. It's always easier said than done, this I surely know, as I said I've been hurt in the past, too, but isn't it worth a try?

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Don't Miss The Water Till The Well Runs Dry

It's funny how someone who's seemingly uninterested in suddenly becomes interested in you once you've found someone else. Or how someone who never appreciated you when they had you, but they swear they can't live without you once you've decided to leave. All I'm saying is, if you've got something good, hold on to it. Always let your significant other know how much you love and appreciate them. Make sure you do right by them because you never know how long they'll be by your side. Appreciate what you have or someone else will. It's like the blues song says "when you say scat cat, another man says here kitty kitty."

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Does Money Equal Attractive?

Now, you'd think that you're either attractive or not, but according to some studies I've recently come across, that's certainly not the case. In fact, one study showed that people perceived themselves to be more attractive or sexy when they had more money while another showed women rated men as more attractive after finding out they were well off although they'd previously rated them unattractive. Some would argue this is the case with those who competed for the love of rapper Flava Flav on his VH1 reality show Flavor of Love considering he's often times rated as um... Less than attractive. So my question is this, do you think those studies are accurate? Does money really make people more attractive?

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Women Are Cougars, What Are Men?

I'm sure during recent years we've all become familiar with the term used to describe women who date younger men, cougar. I'malso sure we've all become familiar with a few examples, too, there's Demi Moore, Madonna, and Mariah Carey to name a few. It seems that ppl moreso look down upon women who date younger men while once again men are praised for doing the same thing. I'm not really understanding why though. Why is ok for men, but not for women? So my question is what do you call men who date younger women? Is there even a word to describe a man who dates younger women like there is for women who date younger men?

Monday, October 3, 2011

Find The Perfect Balance

They say opposites attract, but they also say if you're not from similar backgrounds chances of a long, healthy relationship certainly dwindle. They say you need someone who is more like you, but if they're too much like you, you guys will most likely hate each other. I'd say you have to find that perfect balance, you want someone who is like you, but also different. You want someone who compliments you, someone who possesses positive qualities that  you don't possess. And like I said before, in order to find this person, you may have to think outside the box. Don't keep your checklist for a mate glued to your hand, know what qualities are important and which ones aren't. Don't be so quick to judge a book by it's cover. I said all this to say, love comes in all shapes and sizes, you never know what type of package your love will be wrapped in. You just have to be open to taking a look inside any box you feel could quite possibly be filled with something special. You don't need someone too different from you nor do you need someone who is too similar to you. You need that perfect balance of both someone similar yet different. Find that balance and you'll find just what you need.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

God Made Me

OK, so this topic came up when I heard a lady make a comment about the outfits gospel singers Mary Mary were wearing on a show that had come on BET. Now, while I agree that you should not "let it all hang out" when praising God, going to church, doing a praise dance, etc, I do also feel that you shouldn't have to dress like a nun in order to please people. Tina and Erica have curves, this is true, BUT God gave them those curves and in my opinion they dress them nicely. I haven't seen them dressed too provocatively nor do I think they're over sexed. I even heard on some show that Pop singer Jessica Simpson was turned away from singing gospel because people felt her large breasts made her too sexy to be a Christian artist. Here's my take on this, God made us all. It isn't our fault the way God made each and every one of us and we should not have to apologize for the way He made us look. I say as long as you're not wearing skin tight clothes or showing all your "goodies", you're good. There is a way to be sexy yet classy. And once again, I don't think you have to dress like a nun simply because you're a Christian. Christians can be sexy, too, you just have to do it tastefully.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Please Don't Give Up

First and foremost, let me thank everyone who love and support me in all that I do. You don't have any idea how much that means to me. I just wanted to take the time out to get a couple things off my chest and maybe even encourage someone else along the way. This week has been a really tough week for me, I'm just not sure how things are going to work out for me. People I thought were on my side left me high and dry, had a family emergency this week, a lot of things were out of whack this week and I was on the verge of giving up. I wanted to give up on my dreams, accomplishing what I want to accomplish, so called friends, etc. You know what though, that's not who I am and I know that's definitely not who God wants me to be. I realize that times are going to get hard and things are not always going to go the way we planned for them to go, but nevertheless, we must keep going. Anything worth having is worth fighting for and I want to fight for my dreams. I want to be successful at what I feel I was put here to do and I'm going to do everything I can to make it happen. So, I just wanted to say to anyone out there feeling like I was a few days ago, don't give up. Don't let your hard times make you give in. Pursue your dreams and believe that God will help you achieve them. You may not be where you want to be right now, but trust and believe that one day you will be.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Why Is Teen Pregnancy Less Taboo Today?

It seems to me that girls are not ashamed of being pregnant in high school anymore, in fact, a lot of them seem proud of it. They're smiling and laughing while talking about when their baby is due and what they're going to name him/her. They're posting pictures of their pregnant bellies on Facebook and other social networking sites. Some of them are actually TRYING to get pregnant! I don't understand this trend. I mean, it is as if they just WANT to make life harder for themselves. As if no one has sat them down and talked to them about how hard raising a child is or as if they haven't seen examples for themselves although most of them have. We should be keeping our kids in extra curricular activities, talking to them about sex, and STD/Pregnancy prevention. Abstinence only sex education is definitely not the way, obviously girls are thinking that pregnancy is something glamorous and fun ( which some blame on the MTV reality series Teen Mom) so they want to get pregnant, too. Now, I'm not saying that sometimes these things don't just happen. Not every girl who gets pregnant as a teen planned or wished for it to happen, BUT a lot of them did. And a lot of times the reason is they just want someone to love them, it is hard to envision how incredibly difficult it is to raise a child. What is even more sad though is that a lot of parents think it's okay that their child is a teen parent, it actually seems to be something that is expected of teens these days. So my question is why? Why is it that teen pregnancy is less taboo today? Why have we come to expect this of our teens?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Relationships Are Built On Trust

It is understandable that you could be jealous of your partner spending time with an attractive person of the opposite sex or that they are still friends with an ex or even that they receive tons of attention from people of the opposite sex whenever they go out somewhere. However, when it gets to the point that the jealousy you feel consumes your thoughts, leads you to accuse your partner of cheating without sufficient reason, or has you snapping at them at the drop of a hat because you feel they looked at someone too long or said a bit too much to a certain person, it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. If your behavior gets even remotely close to these scenarios, it's obvious that you don't trust your mate and may even be insecure within yourself. And if you find yourself on the receiving end of these scenarios, and you know you have done nothing to deserve such treatment, you should re-evaluate your relationship, too. Relationships are built on trust and as long as you don't give your partner reason to suspect you of any wrong doing, you shouldn't be subjected to this type of behavior. You shouldn't have to explain yourself every time a person other than your partner says hey to you. There shouldn't be an issue if someone gives you a compliment. All I'm really trying to say is if you don't have trust, you don't have anything. You don't want to spend your whole relationship explaining yourself to your partner or making sure they know your every move just so they know you aren't cheating.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Are Women Too Materialistic?

I always hear men talk about how much money they spend on women, how women want them to buy this and that and get upset if they can't buy it for them. I also often times hear men talk about how women don't want them if they're not driving the nicest car, wearing the nicest clothes, and rocking the nicest pair of shoes. Now, I admit that I love to have the finer things in life, if , that is, I'm able to afford it at the time I desire to have it. I don't expect my man to be rich and drive fancy cars and all of that jazz though because I realize that isn't what's important. What's important is that he treats me like the princess I am, that he is a hard working man with integrity, and we love and care for one another. And ladies, please let me say this, if you have a man who makes sure you have everything you NEED but he's not able to afford everything you WANT, count your blessings because it's not easy to find a man who will do what he can to provide for you. Let me also go back and say that you should be working as well ladies to help bring some income in so that if he does "put a ring on it", his income won't be the only income you're relying on and that way if there is something that you want and he can't afford, you can get it for yourself. I also know that not all women aren't unappreciative of a man who provides their needs, who works with them and treats them right. In a nutshell, what I'm trying to say is material things aren't half as important as love, respect, and true happiness. What do you think? Are women too materialistic?

Monday, September 26, 2011

Think Outside The Box

Everybody has an idea of what they want "the one" to be like. You know how you want him/her to look, how you want them to act, what type of background you want them to have, etc. Everybody has a certain type of person they feel they fit best with, however, it never hurts to step outside of those boundaries and try dating someone you don't exactly feel is your type. It's like my pastor said in church last Sunday "Some of y'all women won't accept Denzel Williams because you're too busy waiting on Denzel Washington when Denzel Williams is really the one God sent for you." In other words, sometimes we get way too caught up on what WE think our mate should be like instead of praying for God to open our hearts and minds to be able to accept whoever it is that He has made just for us. Now, I'm not saying that God will make you be with someone who isn't attractive or someone who has no education whatsoever or anything like that, but I am saying He may send you someone you'd never expect to be "the one". Maybe he/she doesn't look exactly the way you pictured he/she would, but he/she's attractive. Or maybe he/she didn't get a four year college degree, but they have a good job and make a nice amount of money. All I'm saying is don't create such a long list of must have qualities for your mate that you can't look up from it long enough to see the blessing that God has sent to you in disguise. And let me also say that any person God has sent to you will treat you better than you could ever imagine because they are God sent. They will embody all the important qualities you desire although they may come in a different package than you expected. Realize which qualities are important and which ones aren't and think outside the box sometimes.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bless Those Who Curse You

We've all heard the sayings "kill them with kindness", "turn the other cheek," and "treat people how you want to be treated," at least once in our lives and as Christians, we're expected to take heed to them. Christ loved everyone no matter what they said about him, how they treated him, or what they thought about him. Christians are supposed to strive to be more like Christ each and every day of their lives, yet I believe this is something many of us have yet to master. It's hard to love or be nice to someone who has done you wrong. When someone has said horrible things about you or has done horrible things to you, it's extremely difficult to overlook that, forgive them, and continue being nice to them and showering them with love. Now, we all know that the Bible instructs us to turn these types of situations over to God and let Him handle it, in fact, it says "do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). I said all this to say that I have yet to meet a person who has mastered this, however, that doesn't give us the right to stop trying. Becoming more like Christ is a lifelong journey and we should continue to pray and strive to learn how to turn the other cheek.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Is Bad Sex Cause For A Break-Up?

Sex is plays a big part in pretty much everybody's relationship, whether they've decided to abstain until they're married or they decide they can have sex whenever they feel, sex is usually a topic of discussion in relationships. Here's my question though, is sex such a huge part of a relationship that you'd end one if your significant other just couldn't cut it in bed? Is it so important that if you had sex with someone before making it official and you didn't enjoy it, they'd never become your guy/girl? If you really care about someone shouldn't you be willing to work hard to make it work even if that means showing them how to please you in bed? I personally think that if the person has everything you want and need outside of the bedroom, you should be willing to at least try to make things better sexually. Who knows? It might bring you guys closer together. And as far as how to bring it up without hurting the person's feelings, just be honest, make sure you approach the issue lightly and choose your words carefully. But then again, it's kind of hard to say if you've never been in that particular situation... Have you ever been in that type of situation? Do you think bad sex is cause for a break-up? Should you try to make things better sexually if they're great in every other category?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Is "The Talk" Necessary?

Everything starts out great! You're spending pretty much every leisure moment you have together, the chemistry is wonderful, you can't get enough of each other. Then thoughts begin to enter your mind. Where is this going? Does he/she want a relationship? Are we already in a relationship? Should you ask him/her what their feelings are? Is it too soon to start asking where this is going? And so on and so forth. I know every has been in this type of situation before and it can be very frustrating to say the least. You really like him/her, but don't want to scare them away, you don't want to ruin what you have. You know they've got to like you, hence their spending so much time with you, you're just not sure how much they like you or what their exact plans for the two of you are. So... Here's what I'd have to say about that, you don't want to start bringing up being in a relationship with a person on the first date, but you do want to make your intentions known from the door. Don't be overly aggressive with it, just make it clear what you want AND STICK TO THAT! If you want a relationship and that's truly what your heart desires, don't settle for being some one's "friend with benefits" and if you know all you want is a "friend with benefits" don't play with any one's emotions and imply that you want something more. All I'm trying to say is be upfront with what you want, if you make your intentions known in the beginning and require that the person you're interested in does the same than it's less likely that you'll end up confused, although sometimes your thoughts and feelings change, but you get my drift.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

But You Say He's Just A Friend

Can men and women really be "just friends", no strings attached, strictly platonic acquaintances? This is an issue within quite a few relationships as either the lady is jealous or uncomfortable with her man having female friends or the other way around. Now, I can't speak for everybody, I only know about me and my situation and within my situation, I do have friends who happen to be male and I have absolutely no romantic interest them. However, I've been told that the only reason those guys are only my friends is because I won't allow them to be anything else. I'm not really sure how true this is since they've never made a move on me, we've never taken it to that level. The belief is though, that if men and women try to be friends only someone will begin to like the other person as more than a friend and this will potentially cause issues within the friendship. I don't think that all men have an ulterior motive nor do I believe that if a girl wants to be friends with a guy who has a girlfriend or wife she's a home wrecker. I do believe though that if you're committed to someone and you introduce them to friends of the same sex that you should introduce them to friends of the opposite sex, not doing so could most definitely put doubt in your partner's mind. If this person of the opposite sex is really nothing more than a friend then there should be absolutely no reason not to bring them around your significant other, if you believe your partner to be overly jealous and that they'd be disapproving of your friendship because of lack of trust, you don't need that in your life. Relationships are built on trust and if you bring your friend around your significant other and set boundaries for what's appropriate and what's not appropriate there shouldn't be an issue. What do you think though? Can men and women really be "just friends"?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Are More Attractive Women Less Exciting In Bed?

So... This question came to mind as I thought about how many times I have heard guys say that when a girl looks good, she pretty much sucks in bed. She's reluctant to try new things, doesn't want to sweat too much, if she even wants to have sex at all. It  also been said that girls who look good feel they don't have to do as much to please and/or keep a man because their good looks make them assets to their mates. They said girls who aren't as attractive are better in bed because they feel lucky that a guy has even approached them so they do pretty much any and everything to make sure the guy keeps them around and continues coming back for more. Now, I'm not a guy and I've never been with a girl so I'm not too sure if this really is the case, but I will say I happen to thing I'm a nice looking young lady and I'd also say I'm pretty open to trying new things in the bedroom, I've never gotten any complaints... However, I can see where this could actually be true considering it's often said attractive women don't have to work hard for anything and a lot of time girls who don't get as much attention are starved for it and therefore do more to keep it. I don't know that I'll ever know the answer to this question and in fact, even if this is the case in most situations, there are exceptions to every rule. What do you think? Are attractive women less exciting than unattractive women in bed?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Just Be You

It is said that a lot of times people will pretend to be a certain way when they first begin dating someone then completely change or the real them comes out to play after they have been dating that person for a while. Now, I can understand being nervous in the beginning and I know it is definitely tempting to try to change who you are so that someone will like you or to try to hide your flaws to make yourself more appealing. Here's the thing though, if you're not being true to who you are, you're not being fair to the other person OR to yourself. We all have flaws, we all desire to share our lives with someone special, but if the person you meet thinks you're someone you're not, essentially what you're doing is wasting both your time. You need someone who will love you for you, flaws and all and the person you're dating deserves the same. I'm definitely not suggesting that you "lay it all on the table" on the first date and tell them your whole life story, but you should certainly tell them the important things, things that may alter their decision to date them. Wouldn't you want to know if he/she was really 10 years older than they appear? Or that they really have 5 kids instead of the 2 that live with them? Or how about when they told you they were in school that they really meant they've been in school for 10 years, undergrad, and still haven't completed one degree because they keep changing their major? All I'm saying is, let people make an informed decision and if after you are up front and honest with them they choose to leave, let them. There is someone for everyone and you should settle for nothing. You want someone with your best interest at heart, someone who loves the real you.

Monday, September 19, 2011

"Ole School" Ways=Better Relationships Today?

Alright, so, it's 2011 and a lot of the customs and practices of what was called "courting" (which we now call dating) have changed and there are people ( a lot of them from the "ole school") who believe if we would go back to doing things the way they used to be done. They feel relationships would last longer, more people would get married, and we'd be happier in general if those old customs and practices were put back into motion. Back in the day, according to some, when you were "courting" a girl it meant that you had intentions of marrying her and you had to work hard to make her your girl. You had to meet her family and get they're approval, you had to really show that you were worth her time before you could get by her side. Girls rarely approached guys and learned from their mother, aunts, older cousins or siblings, and grandmother how to cook and take care of house and home. The family was played a big part in who you selected as a partner especially considering a man would go to a girl's father to ask for his blessing in marrying his daughter before he'd even "pop the question".  Nowadays, that just very rarely happens. Families aren't as big a part in selecting mates (some would say that's for the better), and according to some, guys no longer have to work hard to get a girl because women today are way too loose and practically throw themselves at men. Now, I'd have to say that if you have a family that loves and cares for you then they'd most likely be good judges of character and you could greatly benefit from accepting their insight on a potential mate, in most cases, if a parent doesn't like a person you're dating, there's reason to take heed to that. I'm not saying that a parents are right in every single case where they disapprove of a potential or current mate, but parents seem to have a sixth sense about these things so you should definitely listen and pay close attention. What do you think? Do you think if we implemented more of the "ole school" way of dating into today's relationships we'd have better luck with love?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Speak It Into Existence

You know, I have days where I just want to give up and say forget it. It gets hard to continue pursuing my dreams and keep a positive attitude especially when it feels as if my dreams will never come to pass. Some days I wonder why I even try. Then I stop and think. God never would have brought me this far if He was just going to leave me hanging. God put dreams of success in my heart for a reason. He has ever intention of helping me to see them come true and He has every intention of helping you to see yours come true. You have to know He's there and that He cares, speak it into existence that you will make it in whatever field you're trying to go into. Speak it into existence that you're going to be successful, that you will make it and believe that it will come to pass. It may not happen as fast as you want it to, it may not happen the way you expect it to, but if you have faith and believe, your dreams will come true. I'm encouraging you to have faith and speak it into existence. Don't give up on your dreams even when times get hard and you just feel like it's never going to happen for you. God can and He will see you through, so take a break or vacation, cry, meditate, pray, whatever you need to do to renew your strength, but never give up.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Is Sex Too Overrated?

Wherever you turn there are naked bodies. They're on ads, shows, movies, etc. And if you've ever watched a pornographic movie you know that sex is portrayed as uber exciting and pleasurable yet it's anything but in a lot of cases. In fact, I've met some women who are so dissatisfied with sex that they wonder why they should have sex at all. Now, I know there are some men and maybe even women out there saying those women just haven't had any of that "good good" and thus don't desire sex, but really think about it, is sex really as mindblowing and incredible as the media would lead us to believe? What are your thoughts?

Friday, September 16, 2011

I Want To Hear From You!

First and foremore, I want to thank everyone who supports me and follows the blog. You really don't know how much I appreciate you and the support you give me. Now, I am once again opening up the door for your questions, comments, etc. Let me hear from you. I want to know what you think of the blog, tell me about any topics you feel stand out, give me your topic ideas, ask me whatever questions you'd like me to answer for you... Just let me hear from you. I look forward to your questions and comments.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

"Sexting": Do You Think It's Okay?

"Sexting" is the term created to describe sending someone erotic text messages, often including nude or partially nude photos. A lot of people do it and in a lot of cases they end up regretting it when the intended party forwards it to friends or in more outrageous cases, they somehow end up going public. Sometimes people break up and because they are upset with their ex, they set out to embarrass or hurt them by making intimate images of them public. Now, I also think that "sexting" is a good way to keep things alive within a long term relationship especially if you all have to be a part for a while or even if you just want to be spontaneous to spice things up, I'd just say tread lightly in doing this. You never know how things will turn out and technology is most definitely a blessing and a curse. It has made it much easier to communicate and keep up with people, but it has also caused people a lot of pain a strife. I'm not saying you should never send a naughty text or pic to your significant other nor am I saying that every person who receives those types of messages show friends or tries to make them public. What I am saying though, is that you should think long and hard before sending out those types of messages because you just never know whether or not that could come back to hunt you or whether or not someone will use them against you. Do think it's ever okay to send "sexts"? Have you ever shown "sexts" that you've gotten to your friends?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Player vs Slut

This issue often causes a heated discussion or argument and I don't know if the debate will ever end. Why is it that if a man sleeps with multiple partners is considered a player while women who sleep with multiple partners is considered a slut? Aren't both people doing the same "disgusting" things? It makes no sense that men are praised for being promiscuous while women are condemned. What makes her wrong for having sex with multiple partners? What makes it okay for him to have sex with as many girls as he wants? I just feel that no matter the gender of the person, you don't know their story so who are you to judge? We only have one life to live, we should be free to live it the way that we want to live it. Now, I do believe that sex is a wonderful thing when done the right way and the right way to me is when it's done by two people who truly love and care about each other. However, that's my opinion, and like I always say, to each his own. If you decide to be with multiple partners though, please make sure you PRACTICE SAFE SEX AND WRAP IT UP! What are your thoughts? Do you think this will ever change?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Do Women Know Really What They Want?

It's an age old question; do women really even know what they want? We all say we want a "good man". We all have, in most cases, an extensive list of qualities we want in a man. We dream of him often, we hope each good looking guy we meet will be him. Then it happens, we meet a guy who is extremely good looking, he's intelligent and sweet, we're instantly infactuated with him, although we can feel something isn't quite right about him. Maybe he's a smooth talker, the player type, a bit on the thuggish side, you know, just the kind of guy Mama warned us about. So, why do we stay? In some cases, we hope we're wrong or that we can change him. In some cases, we're so tired of waiting for Mr Right that we graciously settle for Mr. Right Now.  And in some cases, we think having some man is better than having no man at all. The truth is, most of us are certain of what we want. We want our Prince Charming, nice house and car, and beautiful kids, but because of our insecurities, bacause of the stigma of becoming an "old maid", or because we hate feeling like we don't know how to keep a man, we settle. And because we give in to our insecurities and settle for less, when a better man comes along, we're not sure we deserve him. Yes, we're beautiful, intelligent, sweet, kind, etc, yet we often times don't know our worth. So, do women really know what they want? Absolutely, we're just not always willing to wait long enough to get it and further more, not sure we're worthy enough to have it.

Monday, September 12, 2011

"Rules To Love By"

You've heard them all before, "rules to love by", so, I've compiled a list of  some of my favorites... and added a few of my own comments/thoughts.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.- Yeah, well, ever heard of out of sight, out of mind? I definitely feel that time apart gives you time to miss someone and appreciate the time that you do have with them. So absence certainly will make the heart grow fonder, IF that absence is short lived otherwise you'll most likely be forgotten.

Having a piece of man is better than having no man at all.- Now, from reading other posts by me, I'm sure you know how I feel about this one. Why settle for less than what you deserve? If he can't give you ALL of him then you don't need him.

It's cheaper to keep her.- Now, for this one, I think it depends on what the cost is. If what you're thinking of is strictly monetary value, then sure, it may truly be cheaper to keep her. But how much is your mental, physical, and emotional health worth to you? Because if she's definitely not what you need, your health will take the hit for you keeping her around.

If you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with.- Ok, I'd have to again say no. I must reinerate my previous point here, you deserve better than a Mr or Mrs Right Now, keep it moving.

I can do bad all by myself.- You most certainly can. You don't need someone who worsens your situation, you need someone who will make it better. Love isn't drama each and every day of the week.

If you can think of any more "rules to love by" and have comments on them, please post below. Let me hear from you.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Forgive For You

Forgiveness is one of the hardest concepts to grasp, especially when you have to forgive someone you truly cared about, someone you though truly cared about you. But the Bible reminds us that although we've all made mistakes, sinned against God, He forgives us and in turn we should forgive others.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32) This isn't to say that you should continue to be in a relationship or friendship with someone who is constantly doing wrong by you. What I am saying is just because someone has done wrong of you before doesn't mean they aren't capable of turning things around and doing right. Now, if, however, you've given them chance after chance after chance and all they do is the same, wrong thing, you have to forgive them, pray for God to help them along the way and move on. And you have to do this for you. Harboring anger or hatred towards someone does nothing but eat away at you and keep you from inheriting the kingdom of God. Ask God for the strength to forgive him or her for hurting you. You can not move forward in your relationship or friendship until you forgive. You can't truly be happy until you let go of that hurt and anger. And for those who have been hurt by family, know that they are people, too. Just because they are family doesn't mean they are subhuman, they fall short, too. Keep in mind that we ALL fall short sometimes. And also remember that nothing happens over night, you have to strive each and every day to be more like Christ, this is a lifelong journey... Pray and be blessed.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

"Hubby Material"

Yesterday while on Twitter, I noticed that one of the TT's was "wifey material" and it made me think about something. It is crazy that women are expected to act a certain way, but men are free to do whatever, or at least that's the way it seems. Why is it that you, meaning most men, feel you are free to act as irrationally as you want until you find what you'd consider wifey material, but you don't consider trying to become hubby material? Why does the girl you're looking for have to behave in a manner that would increase her chances of becoming your wife if you won't behave in a manner that would make you more "husbandlike"? Here's what I'm getting at, men you should give off what you want to attract and ladies, we should expect more from our men. A man who parties all the time, has a different girl every day of the week, gets falling down drunk all weekend every weekend is NOT husband material. A man who is disrespectful to you, or any woman for that matter, doesn't want to do anything with his life, has absolutely no plans or aspirations is NOT husband material. Now, I realize that it is definitely hard to find a good man so it can be VERY tempting to settle for the first man who shows you the attention you've been missing these past few weeks, months, or even years, HOWEVER, I must remind you that having a piece of a man is certainly NOT better than not having one at all. When he gets done showing you what a manipulative womanizer, lazy moocher, or disrespectful jerk he is, you'll realize just how bad you really could've been all by yourself. A man who isn't really what you need is more detrimental to you than all of the lonely nights you'll have before finding someone who truly is "hubby material". So, I ask you, ladies, what makes a man "hubby material" to you? Do you think you've ever met a man who is or could potentially be "hubby material"?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Know How Blessed You Are

There are a lot of single people around here. The dating pool is definitely shallow. Finding someone who loves you for who you are or better yet, even finding someone decent to date is like harder than "finding a needle in a haystack". So if you're dating, engaged to, married to someone who loves and appreciates you just for being you then consder yourself tremendously blessed. I know that no person or relationship is perfect, but if you've found the perfect person for you and have a relationship where good times outweigh bad times, hold on to him or her because that is definitely not easy to come by these days. Make sure you let that special person know each and every day how much you love and appreciate them with not only words, but actions. Remember actions speak louder than words and we all want to feel valued and loved. So to all the happy couples out there know that you're blessed and to all my singles out there always have faith and believe that your day will come.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Real Or Fake; Does It Really Matter?

I love my new Hot 977 family because they always keep it real. For instance, while there last night doing my weekly show, a topic came up that  really piqued my curiousity. On one hand, we had those in favor of girls who are more on the natural side meaning no weave, booty pads, padded bras, etc on the other had we had those more in favor of doing whatever it is you do tastefully. So, this post is more for the guys, I'd like to hear from you. Does it really matter if the girl is naturally "thick" or wears booty pads to enhance her posterior assets? Are you turned off by girls who wear wigs and weaves to give themselves more length and fullness? Do you reject girls who wear padded bras? I want you to let me know. I'm really curious. Please leave comments for me and give me some insight on this issue.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Are We Too Selfish For Relationships?

I always hear people talking about what they want in a girl or guy, how they want them to look, what they want them to be like, etc, but you rarely hear people talk about what they want to be like for their partner. People are so quick to ask what you can do for them rather than what they can do for someone else. People are always like what about me? What do YOU have to offer ME? Have you ever asked yourself what you're doing so that you can attract what it is that you want? And I'm not just talking finances or education. Although you can't be lazy, sitting at home on the couch doing nothing and expecting to get someone who works hard each and every day to make money to support themselves. Or act immature all the time and hanging with immature people while expecting to meet someone who is mature and ready to be serious. But back to what I was saying. What about the person you are physically? If you want someone who's physically fit, wouldn't you also want to be physically fit? What you give off is what you'll attract. Not many people who are in great shape physically want to date a person who isn't. If you want someone who is good at keeping a house in order, shouldn't you at least learn to pick up after yourself first? Nobody wants to be someone else's maid or butler. All I'm saying is we should all think a bit more into what WE can bring to the table to sweeten the deal for our partners or future partners. Nobody owes us anything. We shouldn't be so worried about what he/she brings to the table if we really have nothing to offer them in return. Be real with yourself and ask what it is that you have to offer someone else. What are your thoughts on this? Let me hear from you, please leave comments.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Why Date A Man Who Won't Take Care Of His Kids?

Absentee fathers are definitely a problem in this community so ladies, if you have a child by a man who takes care of his kids, you should definitely consider yourself lucky. There are plenty of single mothers around here that will attest to that. It's hard raising a child on your own and it's even more sad to think about the fact that it's a common occurrence. Here is my question though, if you know a man has a child or children and refuses to help take care of them, why would you even CONSIDER dating him? What kind of person would knowingly create then neglect an innocent child or children? I mean, what does that say about the kind of man he is? What does that say about you for supporting him in his decision to neglect his kids? Now, let me make it clear that I do know situations where fathers actually WANT to be there for their kids, but because they don't want a relationship with the mothers or have already moved on and have new ladies in their lives, the mothers won't allow them to be in the kids' lives and in those cases, shame on the moms. Realize what you're doing to these kids by denying them the right to have fathers in their lives.We've got to do better. Ladies, think about this, if he doesn't take care of his kids with her chances are he won't take care of the kids he has with you. And why would you even want that kind of guy in your life? He's not a real man if he's not willing to take care of his responsibilities. Don't be an enabler.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Flirting: How Far Is Too Far?

Flirting. It typically isn't a topic that's discussed before getting in a committed relationship although it should be. Everyone's idea of what is appropriate and inappropriate is different. In some cases, it is vastly different and because people don't talk about it, they assume that what they think is okay is what their partner thinks it okay. This is why I'm always saying communication is key. One partner may think it's okay to sent flirty texts to someone other than their significant other as long as they don't send sexy pictures while the other partner disagrees. Or one partner may think touching someone's thighs or brushing up against them in "intimate" areas is fine as long as they don't have sex while again the other partner disagrees. One partner might even think it's okay to "bump and grind" with a stranger in a club as long as that's as far as it goes while yes, the other partner disagrees. What is considered flirting and what's considered cheating or borderline cheating? Do you think flirting is ever appropriate when you're in a relationship? This is something that should definitely be talked about before making a commitment to someone, you should always make sure the boundaries are clearly defined. You can't expect someone to know what you think is appropriate or inappropriate if you don't communicate your feelings to them. Flirting can cause a lot of unnecessary drama if not approached in the right way, that is why I can't say enough that communication is key.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Encourage Yourself

Sometimes it's hard to stay encouraged that the things you want to happen in life will happen. Sometimes people say so many hateful things to you just because you're trying to do something good for yourself and they can't stand to see you succeed. It doesn't matter if your something good is going to school,  saving up to buy a new car, applying for a better job, getting married to the one you love, or moving into a nicer neighborhood. Some people will try to tear you down no matter what. The funny thing is you don't have to do anything negative to them in order for them to want to hurt you. In fact, the person or people trying to tear you down might not even be people you know. Yet in other, more hurtful cases, they are people you love and trusted like so called friends and/or family. God tells us not to put our trust in man because man will fail you every time. He tells us to put our trust in Him and he will provide us with all we need. I certainly know all about people saying bad things and trying to tear people down just when they're trying to turn their life around for the better. I've had people say some of the most hurtful things about me, things that hurt me so deep I didn't know how I would go on., but I knew I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let the negative things people said about me keep me from becoming the woman God wanted me to be. I had to pray for the strength to get up each and every day and keep moving forward. I prayed for the strength to encourage myself so that I could be an encouragement to someone else. So, here are a few scriptures to help you through whatever it is you may be struggling with today. No matter what people have said about you, no matter what they have done to you, remember there is a greater force within you and he'll give you the strength to go on. Things will be toughest right before your breakthrough. You have to go through the test in order to have your testimony.
"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
"Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may oppress no more." Psalm 10:17-18
"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." Psalm 55:22
"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." John 14:1,3
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:12-13

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Single By Choice Or Force?

I am often asked, as I'm sure most single women are, why I'm single. People are like you're attractive, you're smart, you're sweet, what's the deal? Then here comes the question that always gets under my skin, what's wrong with you? Now, I'm not saying that gets under my skin to imply that I'm perfect because Lord knows I'm not, however, I do happen to believe I'm a great catch. I can cook, I'm smart, I have ambitions, no kids, yada, yada, yada. And I know plenty of attractive, loving, intelligent women who are single in Mississippi and people on the outside looking in are wondering why. Well, I'm here to shed some light on the situation if I could. I can't speak for all single women, but I can share my opinion on my situation and that of many of the single women I have come in contact with. First of all, a lot of people think the only way to go out and have fun around here is to go to the club, drink, and/ or smoke and I'm sorry, that's just not my thing therefore, I'm thought to be lame by some of my peers which is fine by me, that doesn't make me want to change who I am. Secondly, I go to church and when I take a look around and the ratio of men to women is comical. They say good men are in church and frankly, I'd have to disagree. It's more like a crowd of women with men sprinkled here and there, not to mention most of those men are old enough to be my dad or granddad. Next, single women are told to go out and participate in activities that they enjoy so that if they meet a man there, they already know they have something in common. Okay, here's the problem with that here, activities I like to do include shopping, reading, writing, cooking, talking on the phone, not really activities guys go for. I'm not into sports, don't wear tennis shoes, and I don't listen to rap so... Yeah, I'm a bit weird amonst my peers. And even going to open mic nights here because I like listening to poetry was unequaled, there were like 1000 girls to every 1 guy. Of course I'm exaggerating but you get my drift. What I'm trying to say is, just because we are single doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us. Perhaps we're just individuals who don't conform to the norm and therefore aren't as available to guys. Maybe we like doing things that most guys our age aren't into and therefore we remain single. Does this mean we're forced to be single? No, we could always go for a guy whose interests are nothing close to ours just to say we have a "boo", but most of us aren't willing to go that route. So that's certainly our choice. I just felt I had to say a few words on this issue as it bugs the hell out of me for people to assume something is "wrong" with single women for no reason other than they're single!

Friday, September 2, 2011

You Want Me To Let You Put That Where? (Anal Sex)

The topic of anal sex is still somewhat taboo, some people feel like it's gross and some even think it's wrong. Well, I think it's like I always say, to each his own. I decided to write this post today and give a few pros and cons when it comes to anal sex. Let's start with the good things first. Anal sex for some can be VERY pleasurable as there are nerve endings in the anus that you do not have anywhere else and I've also heard that orgasms from anal sex are MUCH more intense than those experienced from vaginal sex. Anal sex adds variety to your sex life as it is different than vaginal sex in that it's supposed to be a much tighter fit which is what is pleasurable to the man involved. Now a couple of cons. Ladies, just like your first time having vaginal sex, anal sex is painful in the beginning which is why it is suggested that you use lots of lubrication when trying to insert the penis into that area. You're also more afraid to try anal sex because you're afraid it may get...messy and you'll be embarrassed which means you tense up and make penetration back there harder. So, here are a few pointers on anal sex just in case you want to try or if you've tried it and want to make it better. Please, please, please make sure you are ready to try it before you get started. Once you've established that you want to do it, take it nice and slow. Maybe have a nice drink, wine, champagne, etc to loosen up a bit, then start with foreplay to get more into the mood. Make sure that once you're ready to "get it in" you lube and strap up (PLEASE PRACTICE SAFE SEX! I really can not say this enough) and ladies, try to relax as much as you can. Guys, please remember that you must take your time when entering and still be gentle once you're inside. This is not the time to "beat it up". Once you're both comfortable and feeling good, do what you do. Have fun with it. Oh, and if you're afraid of things getting messy, be sure to stop by the bathroom before getting started, make sure you shower up so that you'll feel more comfortable with the situation.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

For Better, For Worse

Alright, let's say you met this guy and he was your everything, he treated you like a queen and spoiled you. He was there for you when things were looking up and when they were looking down. He fit in exceptionally well with your family and they loved him. You all decide to move in together and things between you two couldn't be better, suddenly things take a turn for the worse. He loses his job and is no longer able to spoil you the way he used to, his fancy car you just loved riding around in is repossessed, and you are barely able to keep lights on and water running. Would you stay with him? Is he still everything that you want in a man even though he is now flat broke?
On the flip side, guys, let's say you meet this gorgeous woman with long, beautiful hair. She's sweet, intelligent, ambitious, everything you want in a woman. You know right away she's your future "wifey". Your friends lover her, your family loves her, things couldn't be better in your relationship with her. You've never felt this good in your life. You buy a new house for you all to move into, you buy a ring to propose to her, then the bomb is dropped. She's diagnosed with cancer. She's in and out of the hospital, she loses all of her long, beautiful hair, and she loses a lot of weight so she no longer has that spectacular figure that helped attract you to her in the first place. Would you stay? Is she still everything you want in a woman although she's sick and as a result no longer looks the same? My point in writing this post is this, I hear people talking about how much they love this person or that person. How much they can't wait to marry them only to pick up and leave when times get rough. I challenge each of you to take a step back and think about these scenarios and the person you're with, would you stay with them if anything bad were to happen? Would you still love them the same? Please, please take the time to think about this before making the decision to get married.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Dating 101

Okay, so maybe I'm a little old fashioned, but I really feel like the term dating has lost like ALL of its appeal nowadays. For one, let me just say that hanging out at someone's house (i.e. he/she invited you over to watch movies) is NOT the only way to have a date and some might even go so far as to say that doesn't even count as a date. Dating to me is, at first, going out together, experiencing new things together, really just getting to know each other. You can go to dinner and a movie, you can try a fun, new activity together like paintball or I don't know, ballroom dancing or something. Here is what I don't see as a date though, going to his/her house and being the only man/woman there as they have fun with their friends and you sit in a corner bored to death. A date is not going to McDonald's or Burger King or Church's Fried Chicken for lunch UNLESS you've been married or have dated for a  very long time and money is tight, you only have a short amount of time together before the kids come home, etc. Because in those cases it's the little things that count, making coffee in the morning and taking it to your partner is romantic after you've been together for such a long time (or so I've heard). Even still, my point is this, a date to me is something you put a little effort into. I like to go out and have fun. I want to actually see the types of things you like to do, what types of foods you like, what movies you enjoy watching, how you interact with people other than me, etc. Save all the going to each other's house to watch movies together for later on in the relationship, once you've decided to be serious about each other. Ladies, tell guys you demand more from him than simply driving to his house to sit around and watch whatever sitcom is playing that night. And guys, if you're really interested in a girl, show her. Stop being so quick to stay home and do nothing, go out and show the girl a good time.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

What Do You Want To Know?

Now, typically I just come up with a topic and write about it, but today I wanted to do something a little different as I am frequently asked if I leave the discussions open for questions. Today, I decided to do just that. So, I'm asking YOU, what do you want to know? I'm opening the door up for questions, subjects for new posts, etc. As I always try to make clear, I am NOT licensed to counsel you, but I AM able to give my advice if asked. So, please post your questions for me, topic ideas, comments about my blog, whatever below. Oh, and please do not post any negative questions or comments, take the negative energy elsewhere. Thanks for all of your support! I hope you to hear from you all soon.

Shakina

Monday, August 29, 2011

Are We Really That Two Faced?

So, an interesting topic came up Wednesday of last week while I was doing my weekly show on Hot 977. I was told that women work very well together, however, we don't like each other. I can't say that I was surprised by this comment. I've certainly witnessed this type of behavior and may have even been a culprit in acting this way, too. For instance, a new girl just got hired at work. She walks in wearing her nice pencil skirt, button down blouse, and heels with her head held high. She walks right past you and your group of friends at work and doesn't speak. Instantly, you take a dislike to her. "I mean, really, who does she think she is? She hasn't even been here a week yet. She thinks she's too much." You and your friends might say to each other. Or perhaps you have a crush on a guy you've seen and conversed with at this nice little spot you frequent and one day you see him smiling and talking with an attractive girl. Suddenly, she's the target of all your negative energy and gossip. Or maybe you see a girl you grew up with at the grocery store and you plaster on a smile and greet her as if you were ultra excited to see her, but call her a bitch as soon as she walks away. My question is; why? Why do we have such a problem with each other? Why do we smile in each others face then talk badly about each other? Now, let me also say that I know that not all females are this way, BUT I know that a lot of us are. So, what do you think? What causes us to be so distrusting of each other?