Bitter Women

Maybe you'll be upset by me speaking up on this but oh well, my blog, my opinion. I just want to know WHY ARE WE SO FREAKING BITTER/ANGRY??? Listen, if you have been hurt in the past, this man or that man did you wrong, GET OVER IT! Realize that YOU have to accept your part in the situation, too. As the saying goes "a man can only do what you allow." Yes, it was wrong of him to lie to you, cheat on you, string you along or whatever it was that he did, but you played a part in it, too. You knew he was lying and stayed because you "loved" him. You knew he was cheating and stayed because you were his "main chick". You hung on when you knew he had absolutely no intentions on building a relationship with you because you thought a piece if a man was better than having no man at all. YOU made the decision to endure the things that he did to you so YOU need to take responsibility for that and stop taking it out on everyone else! Being bitter hurts no one but you. Let go and let God and see what a difference that will make. And if you have had failed relationship after failed relationship after failed relationship, maybe you should take a step back and examine yourself. Examine how you present yourself to men. Examine what it is that you truly want and don't settle for less! And most of all "above all else, guard your heart" (Proverbs 4:23)

Men, You've Got It All Wrong

A few days ago, I asked ladies to help me out and tell me some of the misconceptions they feel men have about women. Here are a few of the answers I got back and a couple that I thought of, too.

1. All women between the ages of 25 and 30 are desperate to be married and/or have babies. Wrong! Contrary to popular believe, there actually ARE women who DO NOT want children OR to ever get married. Yes, these women do exist.

2. Women want nothing more than to be in a relationship or marriage their entire life. Again WRONG! Women can be commitment phobes, too. We love our space and hanging out with our friends just as much as you do!

3. Women really aren't that into sex. The truth is, whether we admit it or not, women get horny, too. In fact, in MOST cases, we absolutely LOVE sex!

4. All women are weak and want a man to "save" them. Excuse me? Have you not heard of Miss Independent??? Yeah, that'd be a lot of us. We don't need you to save us, we need you to support us, there's a difference. And FYI, by support I'm NOT speaking of finances

5. Women are emotionally unstable. This is totally untrue, in fact, I'm inclined to believe it is you, men, who are emotionally unstable as you seem, in a lot of cases, unable to adequately express your feelings or truly deal with them properly.

6. Women love all that domestic stuff, cooking, cleaning, decorating, etc. Truth be told, we don't always like cooking and cleaning, we mainly do it because we know you aren't going to

7. Women fall right into parent mode as soon as they find out they're pregnant. Ahem! Let me say this clearly. News flash dudes, WOMEN ARE JUST AS SCARED AS YOU WHEN WE FIND OUT WE'RE PREGNANT!

These are just a few misconceptions I thought I would share, if you want more, be patient, there are more to come, maybe in a book... Never know. :)

If You Only Have Sex Once A Week...

Now I would definitely NOT advise anyone to look to ANY "reality" show for words of wisdom or for ways to live your life, but to my surprise, an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta actually made me think... In a good way. My thought was, if you really did have sex with your husband once a week, would that be considered too little sex by most? Is this really what a lot of women feel to be acceptable while men beg to differ? IS there a such thing as too much sex? Alright, so I'm not married so I can't really say how these things go, but I've heard quite a few times that for whatever reason your sex life pretty much becomes nonexistent once you get married (I know this is not true for ALL married couples) and I'm not really sure why that would be. I mean, don't some people get married primarily so that they CAN have sex? Just saying, I'm confused. And shouldn't you set some types of agreement or at least talk about a certain number of times you and your partner feel is acceptable to have sex BEFORE marriage? How does that whole no sex after marriage thing work? IS once a week really a good enough number of times to have sex? Every couple is different... To each his own. Just my thoughts...

When Did We Become So Desperate?

Upon taking a look at my surroundings, I have come to the realization that WE, as in women in general, have become so desperate to get and keep a man it's pathetic! How can we expect to really, truly have a successful relationship with a man if we really, truly don't value ourselves? We are mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, doctors, teachers, etc and yet, we think so little of ourselves that we will accept abuse ( whether that be physical or verbal), continuous infidelity, being used, and downright disrespect all for the sake of saying "well, at least I have a man". When did this change come about? When did we start to believe that having a piece of a man was better than having no man at all? When did we start feeling proud of ourselves for sleeping with knowingly taken men? How did we lose our self worth? How did we get to this point? Ladies, we ARE God's most priced possessions, our price is far more than that of rubies and yet, we subject ourselves to being treated as if we are worth no more than the trash thrown out on the streets. It is time we wake up and realize that we deserve better, that we owe it to ourselves to hold ourselves to a higher standard of living. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past, make up your mind today to settle for nothing less than the best. We need to lift each other up and celebrate each other's accomplishments rather than tearing each other down. Know that there IS a man out there for you who is SINGLE, successful, and waiting to meet you if you will only have faith and stop settling...

Is Trust Given Or Earned?

Ok, so I know that these days it can be extremely, extremely hard to trust people. With all the cheating and scandalous behavior we hear about on a day to day basis, trusting ANYBODY seems like a big joke. How are you expected to trust your mate when your neighbors who have been together for more than 15 years have just announced they are getting a divorce and you were told it is due to infidelity? Or you have a friend or acquaintance who is in a "committed" relationship, but he/she loves telling you about all the wild crazy nights he/she has with numerous other people? Or worse even, thinking about your cousin who was in what seemed to be in a very happy marriage until his/her spouse just vanished and left him/her with the kids? Those are just a few examples of all the craziness we witness each day from those around us and I am certain it often makes us wonder how we can trust and believe that anyone is genuine and real in our own lives and relationships. And that brings me to my question;should trust be given or earned? Is it fair to make your make mate prove him or herself to you when they have done nothing to show themselves untrustworthy in the first place? Is there a happy medium where you can give a little trust, but not fully trust until your S.O. proves they are worthy? Here is what I think. People are people and that will never change, but each person is their own person entitled to being treated fairly unless they show you otherwise. Just because you know of a person who trusted someone else and that situation ended badly doesn't mean that will happen to you. And just because a person was one way in the past doesn't always mean they are that way now. PEOPLE CAN CHANGE!

Let's Wait A While

The sex is intense. You can't keep your hands off him/her. You guys have sex three to four times a week. Then suddenly a bomb is dropped. He/she wants you all to become celibate until marriage. Pump the brakes! Where in the world did this come from? Especially considering up until this point, neither of you have been overly religious. How are you supposed to react to this? Is that even possible? Is it even fair that they ask something like this of you? Alright, so, here's MY opinion on this. IF I could actually find a man who would suggest this AND I could see that he was doing it for the right reasons, I would definitely be along for the ride. However, if I didn't really believe this guy was doing it for the right reasons or I felt there was something he wasn't telling me, I'd probably have my bags packed. Let me just say though, if it's for the right reasons and I see that he is trying to obey God not only in that aspect of his life, but in all other aspects as well, first I'd have to be sure he wasn't a figment of my imagination, but then I would feel blessed to have him in my life and admire him for not conforming to the world and all its goingson. How do you think you would react? Is that something you would be down for?

If Women Have All The Power...

So I've been thinking. I have heard it said that women have all the power. Which leads me to wonder if this is true why there are so many women in unhealthy relationships, why so many women hate one another, why so many women want to chase men? Just saying, if women have all the power, why the hell are so many of us unaware of how to use it? Is it that we don't know our worth? Have we simply given up on being strong, virtuous women? I don't know where the problem started, but ladies, we need to wake up. We are God's most prized possession and we need to start acting like it. Stop letting men tear you down, hold you back, and make a fool out of you! It is time to become empowered again!