Player vs Slut

This issue often causes a heated discussion or argument and I don't know if the debate will ever end. Why is it that if a man sleeps with multiple partners is considered a player while women who sleep with multiple partners is considered a slut? Aren't both people doing the same "disgusting" things? It makes no sense that men are praised for being promiscuous while women are condemned. What makes her wrong for having sex with multiple partners? What makes it okay for him to have sex with as many girls as he wants? I just feel that no matter the gender of the person, you don't know their story so who are you to judge? We only have one life to live, we should be free to live it the way that we want to live it. Now, I do believe that sex is a wonderful thing when done the right way and the right way to me is when it's done by two people who truly love and care about each other. However, that's my opinion, and like I always say, to each his own. If you decide to be with multiple partners though, please make sure you PRACTICE SAFE SEX AND WRAP IT UP! What are your thoughts? Do you think this will ever change?

Do Women Know Really What They Want?

It's an age old question; do women really even know what they want? We all say we want a "good man". We all have, in most cases, an extensive list of qualities we want in a man. We dream of him often, we hope each good looking guy we meet will be him. Then it happens, we meet a guy who is extremely good looking, he's intelligent and sweet, we're instantly infactuated with him, although we can feel something isn't quite right about him. Maybe he's a smooth talker, the player type, a bit on the thuggish side, you know, just the kind of guy Mama warned us about. So, why do we stay? In some cases, we hope we're wrong or that we can change him. In some cases, we're so tired of waiting for Mr Right that we graciously settle for Mr. Right Now.  And in some cases, we think having some man is better than having no man at all. The truth is, most of us are certain of what we want. We want our Prince Charming, nice house and car, and beautiful kids, but because of our insecurities, bacause of the stigma of becoming an "old maid", or because we hate feeling like we don't know how to keep a man, we settle. And because we give in to our insecurities and settle for less, when a better man comes along, we're not sure we deserve him. Yes, we're beautiful, intelligent, sweet, kind, etc, yet we often times don't know our worth. So, do women really know what they want? Absolutely, we're just not always willing to wait long enough to get it and further more, not sure we're worthy enough to have it.

"Rules To Love By"

You've heard them all before, "rules to love by", so, I've compiled a list of  some of my favorites... and added a few of my own comments/thoughts.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.- Yeah, well, ever heard of out of sight, out of mind? I definitely feel that time apart gives you time to miss someone and appreciate the time that you do have with them. So absence certainly will make the heart grow fonder, IF that absence is short lived otherwise you'll most likely be forgotten.

Having a piece of man is better than having no man at all.- Now, from reading other posts by me, I'm sure you know how I feel about this one. Why settle for less than what you deserve? If he can't give you ALL of him then you don't need him.

It's cheaper to keep her.- Now, for this one, I think it depends on what the cost is. If what you're thinking of is strictly monetary value, then sure, it may truly be cheaper to keep her. But how much is your mental, physical, and emotional health worth to you? Because if she's definitely not what you need, your health will take the hit for you keeping her around.

If you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with.- Ok, I'd have to again say no. I must reinerate my previous point here, you deserve better than a Mr or Mrs Right Now, keep it moving.

I can do bad all by myself.- You most certainly can. You don't need someone who worsens your situation, you need someone who will make it better. Love isn't drama each and every day of the week.

If you can think of any more "rules to love by" and have comments on them, please post below. Let me hear from you.

Forgive For You

Forgiveness is one of the hardest concepts to grasp, especially when you have to forgive someone you truly cared about, someone you though truly cared about you. But the Bible reminds us that although we've all made mistakes, sinned against God, He forgives us and in turn we should forgive others.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32) This isn't to say that you should continue to be in a relationship or friendship with someone who is constantly doing wrong by you. What I am saying is just because someone has done wrong of you before doesn't mean they aren't capable of turning things around and doing right. Now, if, however, you've given them chance after chance after chance and all they do is the same, wrong thing, you have to forgive them, pray for God to help them along the way and move on. And you have to do this for you. Harboring anger or hatred towards someone does nothing but eat away at you and keep you from inheriting the kingdom of God. Ask God for the strength to forgive him or her for hurting you. You can not move forward in your relationship or friendship until you forgive. You can't truly be happy until you let go of that hurt and anger. And for those who have been hurt by family, know that they are people, too. Just because they are family doesn't mean they are subhuman, they fall short, too. Keep in mind that we ALL fall short sometimes. And also remember that nothing happens over night, you have to strive each and every day to be more like Christ, this is a lifelong journey... Pray and be blessed.

"Hubby Material"

Yesterday while on Twitter, I noticed that one of the TT's was "wifey material" and it made me think about something. It is crazy that women are expected to act a certain way, but men are free to do whatever, or at least that's the way it seems. Why is it that you, meaning most men, feel you are free to act as irrationally as you want until you find what you'd consider wifey material, but you don't consider trying to become hubby material? Why does the girl you're looking for have to behave in a manner that would increase her chances of becoming your wife if you won't behave in a manner that would make you more "husbandlike"? Here's what I'm getting at, men you should give off what you want to attract and ladies, we should expect more from our men. A man who parties all the time, has a different girl every day of the week, gets falling down drunk all weekend every weekend is NOT husband material. A man who is disrespectful to you, or any woman for that matter, doesn't want to do anything with his life, has absolutely no plans or aspirations is NOT husband material. Now, I realize that it is definitely hard to find a good man so it can be VERY tempting to settle for the first man who shows you the attention you've been missing these past few weeks, months, or even years, HOWEVER, I must remind you that having a piece of a man is certainly NOT better than not having one at all. When he gets done showing you what a manipulative womanizer, lazy moocher, or disrespectful jerk he is, you'll realize just how bad you really could've been all by yourself. A man who isn't really what you need is more detrimental to you than all of the lonely nights you'll have before finding someone who truly is "hubby material". So, I ask you, ladies, what makes a man "hubby material" to you? Do you think you've ever met a man who is or could potentially be "hubby material"?

Know How Blessed You Are

There are a lot of single people around here. The dating pool is definitely shallow. Finding someone who loves you for who you are or better yet, even finding someone decent to date is like harder than "finding a needle in a haystack". So if you're dating, engaged to, married to someone who loves and appreciates you just for being you then consder yourself tremendously blessed. I know that no person or relationship is perfect, but if you've found the perfect person for you and have a relationship where good times outweigh bad times, hold on to him or her because that is definitely not easy to come by these days. Make sure you let that special person know each and every day how much you love and appreciate them with not only words, but actions. Remember actions speak louder than words and we all want to feel valued and loved. So to all the happy couples out there know that you're blessed and to all my singles out there always have faith and believe that your day will come.

Real Or Fake; Does It Really Matter?

I love my new Hot 977 family because they always keep it real. For instance, while there last night doing my weekly show, a topic came up that  really piqued my curiousity. On one hand, we had those in favor of girls who are more on the natural side meaning no weave, booty pads, padded bras, etc on the other had we had those more in favor of doing whatever it is you do tastefully. So, this post is more for the guys, I'd like to hear from you. Does it really matter if the girl is naturally "thick" or wears booty pads to enhance her posterior assets? Are you turned off by girls who wear wigs and weaves to give themselves more length and fullness? Do you reject girls who wear padded bras? I want you to let me know. I'm really curious. Please leave comments for me and give me some insight on this issue.