Everybody Plays The Fool Sometimes

It's always easier to point out the negative in someone else's situation when truth be told things would be a lot better if we all took a step back and looked at our own situation. We have all done things we are not proud of, we have all been disappointed in things we've done, and most of all, we have ALL played the fool. No matter if you dated someone who cheated, someone who did not have your best interest at heart or someone who just really what you knew you needed. The pot should never be bold enough to call the kettle black because after all you surely know what that feels like. I said all that to say, in essence, mind your own business and unless it is asked for, keep your two cents to yourself. Only God can judge and if it's someone you love playing the fool, just kow that when they get fed up, they'll leave. And if the fool is you and you're busy talking down about someone else's situation, you need to sweep around your own front door.

Self Esteem Issues

While watching one of my guilty pleasures, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I noticed a trend that I really loathe and have no clue where or when it started. That being said, after watching that show a few other things that fit into this category came to mind, so I decided to create a list. This lists consists of things that women THINK convey that they have high self esteem, but they really don't.

1. Wearing a ton of make -up to show that you're beautiful... Yeah, make up should ENHANCE your beauty, NOT create it

2. Base how sexy you feel on how many men compliment you or ask you out... You should feel sexy all on your own regardless to whether or not a man says something to you

3. Wearing skimpy clothes all the time living by the whole "if you got it, flaunt it" mantra... Your self esteem should be based on more than the way you dress and although it's okay to "flaunt" a little something (I'm not saying let it all hang out though) every now and then, you should definitely used discretion when deciding what to wear

4. ALWAYS talking about how beautiful/gorgeous/fabulous you are... If you truly believe you're beautiful, gorgeous, fabulous or whatever else, you don't have to tell people, actions speak louder than words

Guys, I have a list coming for you soon!

CAN Men and Women Really Be "Just Friends"?

So, this is a question that I believe comes up pretty often when talking about relationships and love. And there are people, of course, on both sides of the issue. Some people think that men and women absolutely, positively can NOT be friends as someone will become attracted to the other person and thus have an ulterior motive for keeping them around while others believe it most certainly is possible since they have friends of the opposite sex whom they feel absolutely NO attraction to. Now, I will be honest and say that I do have male friends that I have never dated, whom I have never even so much as kissed or even wanted to think about in "that way" before, however, after following Mr. Chey B who is also a blogger and life/relationship coach, I can't be sure that those males friends aren't feeling something totally different than me. He says that men are friends with women for one particular reason, the possibility of sex. Either they've gotten it before and stick around to see if they can get it again or they haven't gotten it and are waiting to see if they'll ever get it. I'm not a man so I can not possibly tell you what goes thru a man's mind which is why I definitely appreciate Chey B for his insight into the male mind. But what are your thoughts, CAN men and women really ever be "just friends"?

If He Asks For A DNA Test...

I have covered this topic before and heard from people on both sides of the issue. I have heard from men saying "Guys have a right to protect themselves, too." And women who have absolutely, positively no problem with men asking for DNA tests. But I've also heard from men and women who agree that if a man asks for a DNA test there's some type of trust issue there. I have my own opinion and it is that, TO ME, no matter how you swing it, there definitely must be a underlying trust issue if he asks for a DNA test. No matter if he has dealt with a previous woman or women lying about the paternity of the baby, he knows someone who dealt with a situation where it turned out the baby wasn't his, or he has someone pushing him to be sure he has a test performed. I personally just think that he has some insecurity be it from infidelity on her side or just plain ole insecurity if he wants the test done... What are your views? Tell me below.

Talk About Your Finances

We all know that the divorce rates in the US are ridiculous, but did you also know that the top reasons for divorce do not include infidelity? Although, it may not be THE top reason, financial issues, whether it be one person spending too much money while the other tries to save or resentment that one person makes a substantial amount more money than their spouse, are high on the list. That is why I would caution you to discuss concerns about finances BEFORE taking that walk down the aisle. Make it your business to find out/pay attention to your partner's spending patterns, make sure you two will be able to handle the bills that are sure to roll in, try to come up with a budget together. Just make sure you guys will be financially sound in order to aid in building a solid foundation for  your marriage.

Yeah... But I Need My Headwrap Though

Alright, so, I've been reading a few things online about a discussion that I'm guessing took place on the Michael Baisden show about women and their head wraps, scarves, head rags, bonnets, etc. It appears that the discussion was saying that men would like for women not to wrap their hair up at night before going to bed. Well, I have to say that I think this is ridiculous! While I'd agree that it wouldn't be a bad idea for women to not wrap their hair up at least every now and then, most of us actually do wrap our hair for a reason. For one, if we didn't wrap our hair, it would get all out of place and messy meaning we'd have to get up the next morning and flat iron, curl, or whatever it is that we must do in order to make our hair manageable and adding extra heat to your hair is definitely NOT recommended. So once we stop wrapping our hair and using heat to manage it each day and our hair becomes damaged possibly to the point of it falling out and we decided to wear wigs or weaves or hair pieces to fix the problem men will have a problem with that, too. Then the issue will be that we USED to wear our real hair and now all we wear is weave. What men fail to realize is that the things we wrap our hair in help us to keep our hair not only in place but help to keep it moisturized and healthy. We wrap our hair as much for ourselves as we do for you, men. We want to keep our hair looking nice so we can keep you around. So we can look professional at work. So we can have confidence in ourselves because WE think we look good. So in essence, head wraps and rags are apart of what makes us unique.

Act Like A Gentleman, Think Like A Woman?

So... I'm definitely not saying there's anything wrong with reading books for dating advice, I mean, I am guilty of reading AND enjoying quite a few of those books myself. But I can't help but notice they all seem to be geared towards women, but why is that? Are women so uninformed that every person who ever wants to write a book on getting a relationship, keeping a relationship, or just making dating more fulfilling has to write a how to guide for them? I'm not saying that there aren't dating guides out there for men, too, but I can't say that I could name any right off the top of my head like I could dating guides for women. I'm just saying, if men are SO simple and women SO complex why aren't THEY the ones having to have so many books written to help them? Understand also that a lot of men aren't as into reading as women are, but come on, seriously? Maybe someone, preferably a woman, should write a book for men telling them how a woman wants and needs to be treated. Maybe they should think about telling men how to act, too. Just saying.

Don't Let That Stop You!

Ok, so I'm feeling like being inspirational today. I want us all to realize that no matter who you are or where you are, we all have a past. We have regrets, we've all made mistakes. No one and I mean absolutely no one is perfect and we should all keep that in mind. That being said, you can not let your past make you ashamed or feel less than. You CAN overcome! Whatever it is tat you want to do, go for it! Believe, have faith, don't give up! No matter what your dream, it can be accomplished. Don't let anyone tear you down! You can become tat lawyer, doctor, singer, whatever. You can have the family you want. You can have the nice house, car, money. You can have a great life!

All I Want... A Big Booty H*e

I am sure that many of us have heard the 2 Chainz song "Birthday Song" in which he makes it VERY clear that all he wants for his birthday is "a big booty h*e". Now I have no doubt that many of you listen to this song, sing along to ALL the lyrics, dance all night to it and have absolutely no problem with it at all, but I'm here to tell you that I do. Why? Because I am sick and tired of this nonsense! Why must our music include the same degrading, ignorant, down right disrespectful crap? And worse yet, why do we keep listening to, downloading, and promoting it? I'm not speaking only to the ladies on this one, although we definitely play a HUGE role in this. I've said it before and I'll say it again; we have got to demand better for ourselves. Don't answer to h*e, b*tch, sl*t, etc. You are more than your body, much more than your looks, more valuable than to be used for sex and thrown away. And guys, do you ever stop to think how you'd feel if some man said the things that you say to girls on the street to your mom, grandmom, daughter, etc? Just because something is popular that does not make it right.We need a change. What happened to men actually "courting" women, being romantic, and taking the time to get to know a woman BEFORE trying to get them into bed? What happened to women acting like ladies, knowing their worth and not throwing themselves at men opting instead to let him chase her before jumping into bed?  Can we ever go back to that?

Check With Your Man First

It is definitely true that some people will do anything in their power to break up a happy home and in a lot of cases, the reason is simply that e person does not have a happy home of their own. They will make up all types of lies about you and/or your partner, try their best to catch you in compromising positions, and even go so far as to show up to your place unannounced to make it appear that more is going on than there really is. The bottom line is that the saying "misery loves company" does have truth to it. You have to realize this and beware of your surroundings. Relationships are built on trust so no matter what others are telling you, unless you feel in your heart they're or you have solid proof, you ask your partner about it and believe what they say. Sometimes people want what they can't have, your man or woman included. So the next time someone comes to you trying to tell you what YOUR mate is doing wrong, ladies, do as Madea said and check with your man first. And guys, check with your lady first.