A Lady In Waiting?

Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds what is good."  Proverbs 16:9 says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."  And Psalm 27:14 says "Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. "

If you are a single, Christian woman, you have read, heard, and probably been quoted one or more of the scriptures above or others listed in the Bible about being patient and waiting on God to supply your needs. In church, we are told that God wants ladies to wait patiently for Him to send them their perfect mate. However, if you listen to messages promoted by the media, waiting patiently for a man to find you is the last thing you're told to do. Things like "God helps those who help themselves" and "If you want something to happen, you have to make it happen" are being said each and everyday. This creates a dilemma for single ladies everywhere. What's a girl to do? Should you take heed to what you're told in church and wait? Or should you go out and make it happen?

Case Of The Ex

This is a topic discussed by many and I think the result is usually an even split amongst those involved in the conversation. There are people who think going back to/still sleeping with an ex is cool, not  problem, that it may even be a good thing considering you already know and care about this person so you don't have to worry about being with someone new. There are others who believe that once you break up with someone you should leave them alone for good, that it's unhealthy to keep an ex around, you can't completely heal or be ready for someone better to come along if you're still stuck on your ex... Maybe you felt your ex was "the one" and you all are meant to be. Maybe you still love your ex and don't think you can ever move on without him/her. In these cases, I'd have to ask that you go over the details of the break up. Did he/she cheat? Were they abusive in any way? Did they lie to you about things that you felt were important? In my opinion, an ex should certainly stay an ex in most cases because after all you had to feel things wouldn't work out for a reason, right? That being said though, I do feel there are cases when getting back with an ex may not be such a bad idea. For instance, the break up may have been caused by one or both parties moving away. Or maybe you dated in high school, broke up, then met up again years later. Even then though, I'd still tread lightly. What do you think? Should you ever get back with an ex? Is it ever okay to have "ex-sex"? Or should an ex be an ex and stay in the past?

Selfish Lovers

I feel that sex should definitely be pleasurable for both parties involved. Sex, as I have said before, can be a very beautiful thing when done the right way. Here is what I have come to realize though, not everyone feels that way. There are some people who like to accept pleasure, yet aren't willing to reciprocate. I'm certain you've either been in this type of situation or you know someone who has. The person may want oral pleasure but does not desire to "return the favor" or they may make it their business to have an orgasm without even a second thought about whether or not you have one. I would also have to say that I believe anyone who cares for you would want to see you happy and would therefore want to make sure you're pleasured just as much if not more than they are. What do you think? If someone is a selfish lover, does that mean they don't care about you? Should more people be selfish lovers in bed? Would you be willing to stay in a relationship with someone who was a selfish lover? Do you agree that sex should be pleasurable for both parties involved?

The Three Month Rule

The first time I'd eve heard of "the three month rule" was one night while watching Girlfriends which was one of my favorite shows at the time. Joan was explaining to her girls that she felt it was only appropriate to have sex with a man after three months of dating (she had everything from kissing to holding hands to cuddling planned out, but that was just Joan). Anyway, my point is she felt she had to wait a certain amount of time before becoming intimate with a man in order for him to not only respect her but for her to respect herself. Fast forward a few years later and Steve Harvey writes the book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man where again the three month rule is again promoted, although he called it something like a ninety day trial period. On the opposite end of the spectrum though, there are people who believe you should have sex whenever you feel comfortable doing it and no matter how long you wait if the person respects you, they always will no matter what. What do you think? Should you implement the three month rule into your life? Or should you have sex with someone whenever you feel comfortable? Do people (women especially) get more respect if they decide to wait versus deciding not to wait?

I'll Be The Other Woman

This is something that has become more and more popular these days; being the other woman. Now I've never understood why you would be happy/satisfied being second to anyone because in essence you are. You should not be happy being some one's side girl, you should want to be their number one or nothing at all. Think about this, nine times out of ten, he's not going to leave his significant other for you and even IF he did, what makes you so sure he wouldn't cheat on you the same way he did her? Also, if he's married and he and his wife decide to call it quits, she may be entitled to alimony, spousal support, perhaps pay offs for emotional distress and whatever else you can sue for these days, even child support if they have children which means he'll be obligated to continue supporting her even after they've split. Even if he has a substantial amount of money when you meet him, after his wife is done with him he may be pretty much broke. Do you think you could really benefit from this situation? Seriously, he's most likely sneaking you around for fear of being caught by his significant other, he can't spend as much time with you because he doesn't want to cause drama at home, your time with him can easily be cut short if she calls and demands his attention, if things aren't going so well at home, he may have to disappear for a while to pacify his main chick. I say why go through that? Why put up with all that hassle? Don't you deserve to be a queen? Then you need to find yourself a king. A king will treat you like royalty, will be happy to have you and only you on his arm, will make sure there's no doubt in your mind that he loves you. You have to know that you deserve to be number one and not settle for anything else, don't be the other woman, be his ONLY woman.

Friend or Back Stabber?

So you're in love... or at least you think you are, everything is great. He/she is funny, smart, attractive, caring, everything you want in a partner. You spend a lot of time together, you've his/her family, he/she has met yours. Life couldn't be better. Fast forward six months and everything changes, he/she doesn't want to be with you anymore. You find yourself lonely and heartbroken and just as you're trying to put the pieces back together, you find out your "best friend" is now dating him/her. So now not only are you heartbroken and lonely, you're angry and feeling betrayed. Even though you two have broken up, you still care for him/her, the wound is still fresh. Here's my question; would a TRUE friend date someone who hurt you so deeply after you cared so much about him/her? Is it ever okay to date your friend's ex? If so, in what situation would it be appropriate? Should someone feel betrayed if their friend dates an ex? Penny for your thoughts.

Did You Know?

I've come across a few facts about sex that I found interesting and I thought you might, too, so I've created a list below.

People who have sex often are perceived to look up to seven years younger.

So apparently masturbation, plenty of water, and patience can aid in helping a female ejaculate.

Sex triggers brain chemicals that may help create creativity at work.

A Scottish study found that people had an easier time with public speaking after sexual release.

Peyronie's Disease is the condition in which a man's penis to curve.

Sex for Europeans lasts about sixteen minutes while lasting only seven minutes for Americans. (Hey, just telling you what the study said.)

Another study showed just twenty minutes of exercise before intercourse improves your sexual response.

People who exercise regularly have higher sex drives.

Almost fifty-three per cent of women have used a vibrator.

Having sex once a week can improve immune function by thirty per cent.

Most couples over sixty-five still have sex at least once a week.

Wearing two inch heels may help improve pelvic muscles which may help in acheiving orgasms.

The more weight a man loses, the bigger his penis appears.

Women who masturbate often are more likely to orgasm during intercourse.

Viagra is now being tested on women who experience sexual dysfunction.