If You Only Have Sex Once A Week...

Now I would definitely NOT advise anyone to look to ANY "reality" show for words of wisdom or for ways to live your life, but to my surprise, an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta actually made me think... In a good way. My thought was, if you really did have sex with your husband once a week, would that be considered too little sex by most? Is this really what a lot of women feel to be acceptable while men beg to differ? IS there a such thing as too much sex? Alright, so I'm not married so I can't really say how these things go, but I've heard quite a few times that for whatever reason your sex life pretty much becomes nonexistent once you get married (I know this is not true for ALL married couples) and I'm not really sure why that would be. I mean, don't some people get married primarily so that they CAN have sex? Just saying, I'm confused. And shouldn't you set some types of agreement or at least talk about a certain number of times you and your partner feel is acceptable to have sex BEFORE marriage? How does that whole no sex after marriage thing work? IS once a week really a good enough number of times to have sex? Every couple is different... To each his own. Just my thoughts...

When Did We Become So Desperate?

Upon taking a look at my surroundings, I have come to the realization that WE, as in women in general, have become so desperate to get and keep a man it's pathetic! How can we expect to really, truly have a successful relationship with a man if we really, truly don't value ourselves? We are mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, doctors, teachers, etc and yet, we think so little of ourselves that we will accept abuse ( whether that be physical or verbal), continuous infidelity, being used, and downright disrespect all for the sake of saying "well, at least I have a man". When did this change come about? When did we start to believe that having a piece of a man was better than having no man at all? When did we start feeling proud of ourselves for sleeping with knowingly taken men? How did we lose our self worth? How did we get to this point? Ladies, we ARE God's most priced possessions, our price is far more than that of rubies and yet, we subject ourselves to being treated as if we are worth no more than the trash thrown out on the streets. It is time we wake up and realize that we deserve better, that we owe it to ourselves to hold ourselves to a higher standard of living. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past, make up your mind today to settle for nothing less than the best. We need to lift each other up and celebrate each other's accomplishments rather than tearing each other down. Know that there IS a man out there for you who is SINGLE, successful, and waiting to meet you if you will only have faith and stop settling...

Is Trust Given Or Earned?

Ok, so I know that these days it can be extremely, extremely hard to trust people. With all the cheating and scandalous behavior we hear about on a day to day basis, trusting ANYBODY seems like a big joke. How are you expected to trust your mate when your neighbors who have been together for more than 15 years have just announced they are getting a divorce and you were told it is due to infidelity? Or you have a friend or acquaintance who is in a "committed" relationship, but he/she loves telling you about all the wild crazy nights he/she has with numerous other people? Or worse even, thinking about your cousin who was in what seemed to be in a very happy marriage until his/her spouse just vanished and left him/her with the kids? Those are just a few examples of all the craziness we witness each day from those around us and I am certain it often makes us wonder how we can trust and believe that anyone is genuine and real in our own lives and relationships. And that brings me to my question;should trust be given or earned? Is it fair to make your make mate prove him or herself to you when they have done nothing to show themselves untrustworthy in the first place? Is there a happy medium where you can give a little trust, but not fully trust until your S.O. proves they are worthy? Here is what I think. People are people and that will never change, but each person is their own person entitled to being treated fairly unless they show you otherwise. Just because you know of a person who trusted someone else and that situation ended badly doesn't mean that will happen to you. And just because a person was one way in the past doesn't always mean they are that way now. PEOPLE CAN CHANGE!

Let's Wait A While

The sex is intense. You can't keep your hands off him/her. You guys have sex three to four times a week. Then suddenly a bomb is dropped. He/she wants you all to become celibate until marriage. Pump the brakes! Where in the world did this come from? Especially considering up until this point, neither of you have been overly religious. How are you supposed to react to this? Is that even possible? Is it even fair that they ask something like this of you? Alright, so, here's MY opinion on this. IF I could actually find a man who would suggest this AND I could see that he was doing it for the right reasons, I would definitely be along for the ride. However, if I didn't really believe this guy was doing it for the right reasons or I felt there was something he wasn't telling me, I'd probably have my bags packed. Let me just say though, if it's for the right reasons and I see that he is trying to obey God not only in that aspect of his life, but in all other aspects as well, first I'd have to be sure he wasn't a figment of my imagination, but then I would feel blessed to have him in my life and admire him for not conforming to the world and all its goingson. How do you think you would react? Is that something you would be down for?

If Women Have All The Power...

So I've been thinking. I have heard it said that women have all the power. Which leads me to wonder if this is true why there are so many women in unhealthy relationships, why so many women hate one another, why so many women want to chase men? Just saying, if women have all the power, why the hell are so many of us unaware of how to use it? Is it that we don't know our worth? Have we simply given up on being strong, virtuous women? I don't know where the problem started, but ladies, we need to wake up. We are God's most prized possession and we need to start acting like it. Stop letting men tear you down, hold you back, and make a fool out of you! It is time to become empowered again!

Where Are Those Good Old Fashioned Values?

Ok, so we all know what year it is right? Of course we do! It's 2013! With that being said, do you think it would be fair for either man or woman to expect their mate to take on the traditional role of man or woman? Let me explain what I mean. I mean, the traditional role where the woman does all the cooking, cleaning, "taking care of house and home, taking care of the kids and working only from home. I mean, the men working outside of the house, paying all the bills, managing all the money, making all the big decisions. In today's world, do you think that's a fair expectation? Here is my take on it, I think that men and women were each given pretty specific roles determined by the Almighty God and those are roles we should abide by. Am I saying I think women should NOT work outside the home? Absolutely not. Am I saying men should handle all the bills and make all the big decisions? Absolutely not. What I AM saying, however, that women should be the helpmeet and be the support their men need no matter if it's cooking a few times a week, cleaning things as best they can, or being the primary caretaker of the kids if the situation calls for this type of arrangement. Now, to that same token, I think men should ALWAYS remain the head of the household in regards to taking care of most of the bills and making a lot of big decisions, BUT I also think men should be willing to get in the kitchen and cook a meal every now and then themselves, as well as cleaning and taking care of the kids. I realize that some men actually are the ones doing the cooking, cleaning, etc, so I'm just speaking from a generalized stand point. It is what it is though. What works for one couple may not work for the next.

Mixing Business With Pleasure

It happens pretty often. You start a new job, or while working an old job, you are introduced to a coworker you find attractive. You don't know what to do. Should you let him/her know how you feel? Is it inappropriate to date him/her? How should you handle this situation? Here are my thoughts,  IF YOU ARE BOTH SINGLE that is! You should definitely tread lightly because it's a complicated thing, mixing business with pleasure. Some people, no matter their age, are not able to handle it. They don't know how to be discreet or how to continue being cordial in the workplace if things take a turn for the worse outside the workplace. There are definitely examples of relationships that started in the workplace and ended up being happily ever after, heck even the President and First Lady are an example of that, HOWEVER, there are also examples of relationships that started in the workplace and went horribly wrong. And yes, I know that relationships can go wrong no matter where you meet, I'm just saying that a  relationship that started in the workplace that goes wrong might end up being worse. Think about it, if the relationship goes wrong and you work with that person, that could possibly affect your job. Sometimes people are unpredictable, you never know what a person is capable of. He/she could decide to try and sabotage your career simply because you tell them you know longer want to be with them. Everything from firing you if he/she is the boss, spreading vicious lies/rumors about you, discussing what you guys did in the bedroom with fellow coworkers, etc. And ladies, let me just tell you, although it is said that men are totally the ones who WON'T connect emotionally if you all have sex, this is not always the case! So, my advice to you, both men AND women, is to REALLY REALLY think hard before starting a relationship whether it is ONLY sexual or not with a coworker.