Just Be A Man About It

A friend suggested that I write a post like this so... Here goes. LOL So, fellas, I`m talking to you. What a lot of the ladies are wondering is why would you get into a relationship, propose to a girl, or even get married but try to hide it? I mean, I would think that you`d only get into any type of committed relationship you felt that person was worthy of your time. Am I mistaken in thinking that? You tell me because from my standpoint, I`ll only date a man if I feel he`s worth my time, I can see a future with him, and of course I think he`s attractive enough to be seen in public with. Now I added that last part in because it seems to me having a "secret relationship" is both childish and stupid. I also know that some guys hide relationships so they have access to multiple women, but even in that case why bother? You tell me. Help me out fellas.

I'm Trying This Again

I haven't done this in a long time because I got so few responses in the past, but I'm trying it again hoping I get a better outcome. I'm asking that you reply to this post with questions, comments, topic ideas, etc. I just want to hear from you. Let me know what YOU think. Let me also say that I sincerely appreciate those who have continued to follow my blog and those who have chosen to comment on posts. Thank you so much! Now, here's your chance to really voice your opinions and/or tell me something you'd like to read about in the future.

Is There An Appropriate Amount Of Time To Date Before Getting Married?

I've always heard debates about whether or not you should marry someone after knowing them for only a short amount of time, although short amount of time varies from person to person. For the purposes of this post we'll just say a short amount of time is anything less than a year. Now, I've heard of couples getting married after knowing each other anywhere from six weeks to nine months, and in most of those cases, the marriage has lasted. But of course there are marriages that happened just as fast and did not last. In my opinion though, there is no set amount of time you should wait before marrying a person. Only YOU know when it feels right and only YOU will be the one marrying that person. I do believe marriage is a sacred and serious thing that should definitely not be played with, but I feel it is the couple's decision as to whether of not it is right for them. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think couples should know each other longer than a year before getting married? Is there a set amount of time?

She's Got A Big Ego?

The idea for this post came from a recent conversation where the question was raised "Why is it that a woman will break up with a dude because she no longer wants him, but she doesn't want him with another woman either?"  The conversation went on to eventually say that this is particularly true with baby mamas which is probably where the phrase "baby mama drama"  was formed. The thing is that I, not having a child of my own, can not possibly say with certainty how it feels to have your baby's daddy move on with someone other than you, however, I'd gather that it must definitely feel like the ultimate betrayal. Most of us have dreamed of our picture perfect family for years and to have that dream taken away is devastating even more so when a child is involved. However, I must also say that I do know of circumstances where the child's father has been pushed away and then punished, usually by keeping his kids away from him, when he finally decides to move on. Now a few theories on this have been presented to me such as, "She thinks her 'love' is so good he'll never leave so she doesn't know how to handle it once he finally does" or something as simple as "She doesn't want to feel like she's been replaced". Whatever the case may be, it can be a tough situation on all parties involved... What are your thoughts on this? Why do you think women leave men then get upset once the men have moved on? Let me know, leave your comment below.

I Love My Mr. Wrong!

Ok, so I may get a bit of flack for this topic, but I just have to get this off my chest. In recent years, I have heard sooooo many black people, especially women talk about what a black woman would or would not take from her man, HOWEVER, the truth is that black women seem to take a hell of a lot more from their men than other races, although it has also been said that black men are a lot more aggressive and even excessively angry. Black women are often in abusive relationships where a lot of times they, I admit, ARE also abusive towards their men. That's really not the sad part though, the sad part is that abusive relationships are and have been a common occurrence in the black community for a long time. Now, let me make myself clear in saying that of course black couples are not the only ones dealing with abusive relationships but they do seem to be the ones who are more tolerant of it. Yes, you hear more about "crimes of passion" in the white community and you've definitely seen plenty of Lifetime  movies where white women are the recipients of abuse, but stop and think about the reason for this. In our community, it is a common thing to hear someone tell you to "stop snitching" and it is once again a normal thing for there to be abuse in our relationships, in fact, some of us think it is funny! Other things I hear that we black women simply won't take is sheer disrespect or cheating. Even that's laughable when you consider that we are buying, downloading, and listening to music that constantly demeans us by calling us all kinds of bitches and whores, some of us even write songs saying the exact same things. And there are so many of us who believe it's okay for a man to cheat as long as "he comes home to his woman" that it is ridiculous. When are we going to "woman up" and realize that we deserve better? When are we going to realize that we don't have to settle for Mr. Wrong because there IS a Mr. Right out there for us? And when will we stop ignoring the abuse, the disrespect, the downright low down things that happen to us in our own community?