Don't Let Your Friends Be Your Downfall

I just want to point something out to each and everyone of my readers. Not everyone you think is your friend is truly your friend. SOMETIMES your “friends” will hurt you more than help you. Picture this, you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are doing great, you’re getting along well, spending plenty of quality time together, etc. Then one day you share with your friends something that has been bothering you about your mate and their first reaction is “Girl, if I was you, I’d leave him.” Or “Man, you need to leave that girl alone.” And now you’re second guessing your relationship and wondering if you really should leave him or her. Now first of all, if your relationship is built on the right foundation you’d go talk to your mate FIRST and not only that a TRUE friend would say “Why don’t you talk to him/her about it if it’s really bothering you?” Bam! Right there. End of discussion. Point blank period. My point in all this is you need to be able to discern who is truly for you and who isn’t. The saying really is true, misery loves company and sometimes that miserable person will disguise him/herself as a friend. Just be careful because not everyone one you think is for you wants to see you happy or watch your relationship succeed if theirs is crappy or they aren’t in one. Word to the wise, keep your relationship issues between you and your mate.

Just Hold On

The key is knowing exactly what you want and truly sticking with it. Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing! Okay, let me break it down for you. You meet a guy/girl, he/she seems like the man/woman of your dreams in the beginning, but as time goes on, you realize they are anything but. He/she has an amazing body/great looks, but their personality is not even the least bit interesting. Or you meet someone and they are the sweetest, most intellectual thing, but their looks aren't the best. Now, I'm a firm believer that looks aren't everything BUT they DO count! You don't want to be with someone simply because they are nice and have some qualities that you want in a man/woman but you're not even remotely attracted to them, chances are you'll either end up cheating or miserable when you realize that if you'd just held out you'd have met someone with both the looks and personality you wanted. Now, let me back track and explain what I mean here, you may have your dream man or woman built up in your head, he/she is this tall, is of this body type, has this length hair, etc, but chances are your dream man or woman won't be exactly that and you'll still be attracted to them! Why? Because they will be the RIGHT person for you! Don't judge a book by it's cover! Just because he/she looks good doesn't mean he/she is good or right for you. See what his/her personality is like, find out what their values are, do they have goals for their life and are they working on trying to reach them? In a nutshell, what I'm saying is, don't lower your standards simply because you're lonely, have faith that the right guy/girl will come. He/she may not look as you expected but they will be just what I need. Am I saying God will send you an unattractive yet intellectual guy/girl? No, I'm just saying they may not look as you imagined, they'll be attractive but maybe not in the ways you thought. Maybe he'll be a little shorter than you expected, maybe she'll have a different body type than you thought you wanted but in the end he/she will be the TOTAL package and that's all that matters, what you should hold out for.

7 Ways To Tell He Doesn't Really Want To Get Married

Women are NOTORIOUS for trying to change men or trying to change their minds about things that will never happen. With this in mind, I compiled a list of ways to tell that a man REALLY does NOT want to get married.

1. He straight out TELLS you he doesn't want to get married. I know a lot of us think "He doesn't really mean that" or "When he sees how good a woman I am, he'll change his mind". But ladies, a word of advice, if he says he doesn't want to get married BELIEVE HIM!

2. Words like wedding, marriage, reception are like kryptonyte to him, he seems to fade away at the mention of anything marriage related. If even the word marriage makes him hyperventilate. He's not ready, ladies.

3. You guys have "been together" for over a year and you have yet to meet any of his family or more than one or two friends. If he really thought you were a catch, he'd be showing you off to the world.

4. He makes plans for the future but you're not included in those plans.
If he can see you in his future, he'll include you in it. His way of speaking will go from I and me to us and we.

5. He is still messing around with other women and has no shame in his game. If he is flaunting other women and letting you know you're not the only one, why would you want to marry him anyway?

6. He doesn't include you in things that are important to him or you're included as an after thought. If he really wants to marry you, he wants to include you in things that are important to him... And things that aren't so important to him for that matter, he just wants YOU in his life

7. If he talks about marrying you but makes no real effort to show he's serious (i.e. not buying an engagement ring or buying a ring and putting off setting a date, setting a date and then backing out once planning begins). He either not ready, doesn't really know what he wants, or he's stringing you along. Either way, you have to figure out if you're going to stick around long enough to see if he'll really marry you.

Ride or Die B*tch vs Chick

I know a lot of you are probably thinking there really is no difference between the words chick and b*tch, but I beg to differ. In my mind, calling yourself a b*tch implies that you are harsh and... Um... Rugged is the only word I can think of to sort of, kind of fit what I'm thinking while chick seems to me is a bit more classy and soft/feminine. Now, to the title at hand, a ride or die chick differs from a ride or die b*tch in that she is the backbone of the relationship, she is going to hold you down meaning she's going to help you stay up, stay positive in this crazy world. She is going to encourage you to do better, to strive for greater. She is going to be loyal and straightforward enough with you to tell you when you're wrong and try to help you get it right NOT help you do wrong pretending that it is right. A ride or die chick would NOT help you run from the police or hide your gun, drugs, stolen possessions because a ride or die chick actually wants to have her man around therefore she wouldn't even THINK of being a part of any foolishness like that. Ride or die chicks would include women like Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Coretta Scott-King, Victoria Osteen, and Heather Lindsey. Being a ride or die chick has nothing to do with color and everything to do with character. What does it say about you that you would actually HELP your mate do wrong? Do you really think that's what makes you loyal? A woman is supposed to be her man's helpmate, she's supposed to help him to be better, he who findeth a wife is supposed to find a GOOD thing, not one who will support him in doing wrong. Just saying. Call me lame, but I'd rather be a woman who helps her man succeed than one who is ultimately helping him to self destruct.

Shower Me With Your Love

So... It's almost that time of year again! You know the time I'm talking about! The time where many break ups happen and men go broke trying to impress women and women gripe about receiving or not receiving flowers or candy or whatever it is they highly anticipate. Yep. That's right, I'm talking about Valentine's Day, the day for lovers. Here's my thing though, while I absolutely LOVE Valentine's Day and all things romance, I don't understand why people would think that going out of your way to make someone feel special should be reserved for this one day! Let me explain something to you, showing love and appreciation for your partner show be an everyday thing meaning Valentine's Day should be one of many days where you show love to your significant other. And ladies, I am NOT speaking only to men. Valentine's Day is NOT a holiday for women, it is a holiday for love. You should be romantic and affectionate to him just as much as you want him to be that way to you. Men may not want you to buy them flowers and teddy bears, but you can cook his favorite meal, go out and buy some new lingerie to model for him, initiate sex sometimes. Don't let Valentine's Day or any other show of appreciation or love be one sided. Men need to be shown they are loved, too. And fellas, don't be a coward and break up with a girl simply because you either don't have the money or desire to buy her something for Valentine's Day. Stop playing games, you either want to be with her or you don't, just be upfront. And strive to make each thing you do for her better than the last thing you did for her, never stop trying to woo her. That also goes for the ladies. Just saying, if you've got somebody you love and care about, let them know with your words and actions each day not just on special occasions.

Please Help Me Understand

I've seen it time after time after time. Guy meets girl, guy says he knows she's the one, he makes a "commitment" to her maybe even marries her but he continues to sleep with other women. WHY? It doesn't make any sense to me. If you want to continue sleeping around why make her believe you want to be in a stable, committed relationship? If you think she is "the one" why do you still feel the need to sleep with other women? I mean, is it that you know you love her and want to be with her but your afraid to give your all to one woman? What is it? I have no thoughts on this one because honestly this one baffles me. I do not understand why you would need continue "sowing your royal oats" if you say you've found the woman you want to be with for the rest of your life. Maybe it's just the immature, selfish side of some of you men and perhaps I will never fully understand this whole thing.

Did You Just... Pass Gas?!?

First of all, ladies, we all know that the pressures for us to always look good, be polite, and definitely smell good are real. So, what's a girl to do when she's with her man or potential man in close proximity and she's gassy as all get out? Should she excuse herself so she can poot in private? Should she hold it in until she just can't hold it anymore? Or should she just... Let it out? When is it okay to "let one out" around your mate or potential mate? And men, although you're not expected to always smell sweet, you don't want to smell foul either so, what are your thoughts on "letting one go? I once heard a family friend say his grandfather told him the way for a man to know he's found the right girl is if he passed gas around her and she stuck around afterward, never putting up too much of a fuss about it... What are your thoughts on this? Is there EVER a right time to pass gas around your mate? Is passing gas around other people just rude in your opinion? Hey! All I can say is, if it works for you... But me, personally, I do NOT want to smell your funk and I don't want you smelling mine. LOL