Friday, December 28, 2012

This Time Around, I'm Doing Me!

So there are only a couple more days in left in this year and I would like to take this time to inspire you to have faith. Some of you may have had some tough times, terrible hardships, devastating losses, and horrible heartbreak over the course of this year. Even though it's easier said than done, leave all those things behind. 2013 is a new year, you should enter it with a new attitude. This isn't about making new year's resolutions or anything like that. This is about making this year your year by taking charge of your life. You have got to be your own biggest cheerleader. Maybe you lost your job, okay. That just means God has something better for you. Your relationship ended. There is someone better for you. Just take the time to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Life is too short to live it mad or sad all the time. Believe that you deserve the best tat life has to offer. Love yourself, believe in yourself and do whatever it is that you want to do in 2013! Live life to the fullest! Do you, boo!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

What Do Your Panties Say About You?

Have you ever noticed that when you feel sex, you tend to dress sexier, underwear included? Or that when you feel not so sexy or attractive, you tend to choose your panties accordingly? So let's examine what your panties are saying about you. Wearing a thong, boy shorts, or any lacy little number typically means that A. you feel sexy and in some cases B. you are ready for action if you know what I mean. Let's just be honest ladies, most of us only wear lingerie or anything remotely close to lingerie when we feel sexy enough to show someone else (although I do realize some women wear thongs daily, do you, boo!). Now on the other hand, when we get to the point where we are comfortable within our relationship (could be that we just get lazy) or we are not feeling sexy at the time, the "granny panties" make their entrance into our wardrobe again. Some women simply feel they are the most comfortable thing for them while others may feel "granny panties" are the most practical things in the world. And believe me, I'm not saying you can't feel sexy whatever panties you decide to wear, but be honest with yourself and admit that in most cases your mate is not turned on by your over sized, less than flattering panties or they may just be tired of seeing the same ole same ole thing. I'm just saying. Change things up a bit. Even if you've been with your mate for forever and a day,it is still good to pull out a pair of lacy cheeky Victoria's Secret panties every now and then. And if you have given yourself a rash trying to be sexy ALL the time, give yourself a break! It IS okay to wear "granny panties" from time to time. In other words, your panties say this; lacy, barely there panties=sexy/in the mood. While "granny panties"= not feeling too sexy today/just want to be comfortable/lazy.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Show Your Support!

No matter if you're male or female, we all want to feel loved and supported especially within our relationship. As we become comfortable in our relationship and the honeymoon phase is over, it is so easy to show less interest in what our mates are doing, to be less affectionate. You must be aware that this is a common occurrence in a lot of relationships, but you must also be aware that being aware of this common occurrence is the first step towards preventing or fixing the problem. Know that we are all human and thus all make mistakes. But here's what you've got to do. Re-focus your attention on your partner. Take the time to show them that you not only care about them but also the things that are important to them. Be there for them. Showing your support for your partner is a huge part of being a great mate.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Act Like A Man

Guys, SOME of you have got to do better! I don't understand your settling for whatever is handed to you. Are you not strong enough to pull your own weight? Are you not smart enough to learn from not only your mistakes but the mistakes of those around you? Why would you be content with merely getting by? Wake up! You have everything you need to make a good like yourself and your family future or present. Stop thinking that because you're from "the hood", you have to do as those in the hood are expected to. You do NOT have to do drugs. You do NOT have to make multiple babies with multiple women. You CAN go to college and get multiple degrees because you ARE intelligent and that doesn't make you a sell out or a lame or whatever else it is that you may be called. Be your own person. Realize that being a man is not about how many people you can intimidate or how many women you get into bed or having a child with your last name. Being a man is about being a responsible person, working hard to be a good provider, living life to the fullest. All I'm trying to say is, please stop trying to please your friends. Please stop mooching off family. Find your own LEGIT way to make it in this world. If you have to work two jobs to provide for your family, do that. If you feel college isn't for you, find some other way to become more educated like trade school. As I said before guys SOME of you have got to do better, but for those of you who are on point, keep up the good work and maybe lend a friend to a guy who isn't on point, but trying to get there.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

You've Got To Give It To Receive It

Everyone has their opinion on oral sex. Some people just HAVE to have it in their sexual relationship while others would much rather do without. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, what do you think? Is oral sex important within your sexual relationship? And if so, does your mate have to first perform oral sex on you in order for you to perform oral sex on them? I mean, they always say you've got to give respect to get respect and you should treat people the way you want to be treated right? LOL Just saying. But on that same note though, it is also said that it is better to give than to receive... Do you think that applies here? Should you pleasure your partner regardless to whether or not they'll return the favor? You tell me.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Keeping Up With The Joneses

We've all heard the phrase "Keeping up with the Joneses" and if we're honest, we'll admit that we have, in one way or another, tried to "one up" the next person whether it's thru our choice in clothes and shoes, the car we choose to drive, or the amount of money we spend on the things we buy. However, keeping in competition with your fellow man isn't always te greatest idea. While in most cases, a little friendly competition is pretty harmless, when comparing your relationship to someone else's, it can be detrimental. What works for onecouple simply may not work for the next couple. And even worse, if you are bragging about how wonderful your mate is and all the things he/she does for you, the person you're bragging to may want to find out how wonderful your mate is first hand. My point is, you should be thankful for the person you have in your life, obviously you think they're a great catch if you're with them. No comparison is needed to validate your relationship.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Remember To Have Fun

So often we hear people say that once you get married and/or have children, your life is over, but why? That should be when your life is beginning! I said it before and I'll say it again, marriage is a beautiful thing, it is a sacred gift from God. I think the problem lies where people get married and fall into the same ole same ole routine of everyday life. But if you work together to make things good, your married life can be great. You have to MAKE time for the things you like to do. You have to remember what made you guys fall in love in the first place. Try new things together, do the things you loved to do before marriage/kids. It's important that you remember to have fun. Life is too short to live it unhappily. Marriage and long term relationships in general will run into it's fair share of road blocks, it's your job to pass them and continue on the right path to happiness sometimes all it takes is a night out together to discover each other again.

A Relationship Without Sex

How important is sex to you? Is it so important that you wouldn't be in a relationship without it? Let's just say you met someone and you all had an instant connection, everything with them was great, but for whatever reason whether it be by choice or force he/she is not having sex. Would you continue the relationship or end it? I think that we have begun to put way too much emphasis on sex and it's importance. I mean of course sex is important, it is how we reproduce and is definitely ONE major form of intimacy, but isn't the ONLY form of intimacy. Not every kiss, hug, or touch has to lead to  sex. It IS possible to have a successful relationship without sex. But what are your thoughts? Could you be someone who wasn't sexually active?

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Tips For A Better Sex Life

Just wanted to share a few tips for a better sex life with you if you don't mind.

1. Communication is key. Close mouths don't get fed. People are not mind readers you must tell your mate what you do or do not like.

2. Although it is still considered a taboo subject for some, masturbation has many benefits. You'll learn what makes you feel you good, it helps to lower stress levels ad more.

3. Have sex often. The longer you go without sex, the less you'll want it which would NOT be good for your relationship.

4. Keep what happens in your bedroom between you and your mate. That's no body's business but you guys'.

5. Always try to spice things up a bit. Sex should be exciting and fun, not routine and boring. You don't necessarily have to get all crazy with the whips and chains and all of that, but even picking up a copy of the Kama Sutra and trying some new positions may be enough spice.



Friday, December 14, 2012

When Is It Time To Let Go?

We all want to have our relationships work, but sometimes they just don't. Sometimes things go from bad to worse and nobody knows how to fix it. Sometimes can simply hold on to something we should definitely let go off, but how do we know when it's time to let go? I say there are a few ways to know when it's time to close the door on your relationship and leave. One being everything that is done within the relationship is geared toward one person, in other words, one person makes all the decisions and the other person simply goes along with it for fear of confrontation or just to keep the peace. In this case, the person who is just going along for the ride is not needed. A relationship is two people working together so if one person's input isn't being valued or used, they're not needed. Another way to know is when there are more times that you feel sad than times that you are happy. Life is too short to be unhappy all the time and as the saying goes, you can do bad all by yourself, you don't need anyone else to help your life be hard. If your mate is being abusive mentally OR physically, that is unacceptable. You need someone who will uplift you, not bring you down. And your body is a temple, it wasn't intended to be "vandalized". If you are ONLY staying with your mate because of the kids, then there really is no relationship at all. You have to be a couple outside of your kids and if that is not happening, believe it or not, you're doing more harm by staying than leaving. If you're unhappy, your kids CAN pick up on that. They are smarter than you think.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Choose Your Battles Wisely

While it is true that no two people are alike and every one's entitled to their own opinion, within a relationship, you have to find common ground or agree to disagree from time to time. Communication is key in any relationship which means you must be able to not only express your opinion effectively but also listen to the other party's take on things. Speaking inn a nice tone is also very important and something that is hard to do when a controversial topic is brought up. You must realize that not many people take kindly to being yelled at and when yelling is involved things can get pretty ugly and in a relationship, you must decide if certain topics are even worth talking about. Is it really important to remind him that he's the man of the house and thus expected to do certain chores every time he forgets to take out the trash? And must you remind her tat she needs to keep the house clean because that's part of her wifely duties whenever there are dishes in the sink? All I'm saying is, not everything should be a discussion, especially if you KNOW it's petty and will most likely lead to an argument. Petty arguments CAN turn into huge battles that You may not be ready for. Sometimes it really is best to leave well enough alone. So my question to you would be, in choosing your battles wisely, is it ever wise to keep something that's really bothering you to yourself simply to keep the peace?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Please Leave Her Alone!

Now  I know that women are notorious for being naive and holding on to men who never should've been given a chance in the first place, but let's be honest, there are some men out there who are notorious for the same thing! So, for the guys who fit into this category, I have compiled a list of a few things about a woman that should let you know from jump to leave her alone!

1. She has five kids, no job, and she's not trying to find a job (welfare is good enough for her)

2. She is more concerned with how much money you bring home than any or your morals and values

3.Her biggest accomplishment is paying for her own butt injections (now her dream to be just like Nicki Minaj can finally come true!)

4. She is willing to leave her kids with any and everybody just so she can hit up the club

5. She goes to college just long enough to get a refund check ( actually finishing school and getting a degree isn't all that important)

6. Her only mode of transportation is bumming a ride from friends and family and that is A-Ok with her

7. You can catch her in at least five lies within ten minutes of talking to her

8. She wears name brand clothes and shoes all the time, yet brings her kids out looking like they're homeless (SHE is the center of her universe)

9. She thinks reality TV is really reality

10. She refers to her kids as b*tches, h*s, and n*ggas

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

If I Were A Boy

Let me start off by saying I know there are no good women out there, too and  not all men are bad. So guys, if this does not pertain to you, you shouldn't be offended. Now, here's the thing; we all know that in a lot of cases men get away with way more than a woman ever could. I'll give you a few examples. A young man gets a girl pregnant and leaves, he just wasn't ready to grow up yet in that same situation, but the girl left instead, she would be dogged out because women should know better. A man cheats with multiple women and it's no big deal, he's just being a man and would, in some cases, be admired by his peers while a woman in that situation, even if she only slept with one guy other than her mate, would be called everything but a child of God.  Men are able to have tons of kids with multiple women and nothing gets said, let a woman do the same and she's nasty, slutty, and whatever else. So my question is what if the world were different? What if women were the ones having sex with men, producing babies then leaving men to raise them alone? What if women were the ones being praised for running around with multiple guys leading them to believe they really cared when they really didn't? If the shoe were on the other foot, would men put up with all the crap from women that women put up with from them? If things were different, would men even be able to handle things?

Monday, December 10, 2012

What's Your Fantasy?

There are fantasies about having threesomes, fantasies about having sex outside or in an airport, or some public place, fantasies about having sex with someone exotic, etc. But how do you know what's a good fantasy to try and what's one to be left as just a fantasy? Truth is, I don't think anyone could answer that question for you although I think for obvious reasons some fantasies could potentially cause more issues than others (i.e. threesomes, sex in public place).  I do think that in a lot of cases, people, men especially, feel even more loved by their significant other when they agree to participate in carrying out a fantasy though. So, have you ever talked to your mate about your fantasies or are you too embarrassed? Would you ever consider carrying one or more of them out? What makes for a good fantasy? A bad one? If I could give you any advice at all, I'd say why not try to create a new fantasy with your mate, spice things up a bit. Or you could even try talking about your fantasies to get you in the mood. Whether you decide to try them or not, they could still serve a good purpose for you in that way...

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Therefore A Man Shall Leave His Father And Mother

When a man and woman decide to get married, there are quite a few things that need to be discussed like finances, places to live, etc. But one topic I think a lot of people neglect to discuss is the true meaning of becoming one. See, God did not make a mistake when he said that the two shall become one when two people are married and although we are to read the Bible for ourselves and therefore come to our own understanding of what we read, I'd bet money that the general consensus is this; becoming one means you truly must leave your family behind. This means your spouse comes first, of course, but it also means that you need to keep your family AND friends out your business. I personally believe that talking to people other than your spouse about things that happen within your marriage is one of the easiest ways to end up in a divorce. I also believe that in a lot of cases, family can be the worst people to tell! I mean, I know most of them mean well, but they can be the nosiest group of people in the world! In a nutshell, people, all I'm trying to say is keep your friends and family out of your personal business because once you become one, your marriage is yours and yours alone. Hey! Even God knew sharing intimate details of a marriage was a bad idea. LOL (Ephesians 5:31)

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Let's Get Married... Or Not!

So as a result of watching one of my favorite shows, Bridezillas, I just had to write a post on this and ask the question; if he/she is a hot head, jerk, witch with a capital B, or whatever it is that you want to call them, what would make you think that marrying them would change them? I mean, here I am watching the show, pretty much every Sunday I might add, wondering why the heck these men even put up with the over the top, sometimes down right nasty attitudes of the brides to be on the show? I mean, does it not occur to them that these women's attitudes could actually get worse? Which led me to my next thought, you always hear about women who are so in love with the IDEA of being married that they plot and scheme, huff and puff, and believe the hype of "something is better than nothing", they'll marry anybody for the sake of being married; could this not be the case with men? Is it so hard to believe that men could be so fed up with their biological clocks going off that they rush into marriages that were domed from the start? Just saying, as a hopeless romantic, there's nothing I love more than seeing two people in love/people getting married BUT if you can't take your mate anywhere without them cursing someone out, getting into some type of altercation, or just getting upset over any ole thing, you need to think twice. Is this really the person you want to spend the rest your life with? Think about it.

Friday, December 7, 2012

You Have What?!?

Let's just say you met the perfect man/woman  for you and he/she is everything you have ever wanted in a mate. He/she is very attractive, very intelligent, sweet, family oriented, and everything else you want, but there's one VERY big issue; he/she recently told you that he/she has an incurable STD. Now I know that many of you are already saying to yourself "Oh, my God! He/she is NOT the one!" or something along those lines as STDS, whether curable or not, are pretty much always paired with negative stereotypes/views. People automatically assume that if a person has an STD they are nasty and have obviously had a lot of sexual partners when in actuality, sexually transmitted diseases CAN be passed from mother to child, CAN be caught from having sex with only ONE person, and CAN be passed through shared needles. The sad part is that as soon as a person reveals that they have a STD, people are so quick to judge that person that they never take the time to realize that the person may have been the victim of a heartless jerk who just wanted to "burn" someone else because they were "burned" or the innocent child of an misinformed mother, you just n ever know. I said all that to say don't be so quick to judge. I know that it is not an ideal life to live with a person who has an incuable disease, much less one that is sexually transmitted, but my question to you would be, if you felt that this person was "the one" in every other aspect, would you stay with them and even marry them? Or do you feel this is something you simply could not handle? What are your thoughts on this? Leave your comments below.